Yesterday was a stressful day. Not sure if was the fact that Tuesday was my Monday or I was running behind on chores... it was just a tough day. When I left the office yesterday, I wanted a cigarette. Seriously WANTED a cigarette. You know, gut wrenching, need it right now and can't stop till I get it!
I stopped smoking on 01/04/10, yesterday was a true test. I stopped at Walgreen's (best priced cigarettes in town) and stared out them. The clerk asked if he could help me and I said no, I just stood there and stared at them. I wanted to smell or even just hold them but I knew it would be over. I asked myself, what the hell are you doing and got the heck out of dodge.
On my way home I stopped at Sonic and ordered Mozzarella sticks. From one craving to the next, huh? Yea, I caved, I snubbed the cigarettes and decided to go fried. I have to admit, the 5 cheese sticks were the best thing I have eaten in a good while, not literally but it did give me the comfort and ease I was looking for.
I don't feel guilty about my choice, if I did it everyday, it would be a problem but I stopped at the cheese sticks and I got up this morning and had a great workout. Life goes on.
I could sit around all day and try to understand why I allowed myself to turn to food for comfort but instead, I will remind myself that I am on an ever changing journey, new challenges and obstacles everyday. Just like wine, I will improve in quality over time. In the mean time, I will remind myself that In 6 months, I have lost 60 pounds and quit smoking. Now that is something to be proud of, what a choice!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
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