Since the Explosion, I have been walking the line of self-destruction. I wouldn't say that I caved but this weekend I will admit I have been very careless.
Friday after my post, I did get in a great workout (yippee) and had Subway for lunch (veggie delight, no cheese, extra vinegar, yum yum) was doing good. I had plans with friends on Friday night and was going out. I ordered the boys pizza and began to get ready. My baby sitting plans feel through so I winded up staying home. I ate two pieces of pizza. I was still under my 1200 caloric intake for the day... thank goodness. I winded up staying up until 5am because I was on a Matrix Marathon. During the Marathon, I finally went to the kitchen and got some chips ( I ate about 20 chips with salsa and sour cream (the real McCoy, no FF sour cream this time).
On Saturday, I decided not to work out, I went to a movie and ordered a small popcorn and a small Mr Pibb. I ate about half the popcorn, I am thinking I took in about 620 calories. That's half my intake for the day on no nutritional value at all. Uh Oh. We ran errands, went to my nephews basketball game. I took another walk on the wild side and bought Burgers and Fries for dinner (no sodas this time) I had a Sonic Burger (650 calories) and a medium fry (330 calories) oh my goodness, my dinner was 980 calories, 460 fat calories! Yikes!
I also have really really REALLY wanted a cigarette, I have been contemplating buying a pack since last Thursday. I keep thinking to myself, just one, it won't hurt, over and over I thought it. I talked myself down, I want to be healthy. You would be throwing out over two weeks of non-smoking, its not healthy... I turned off the after school special playing in my head and chewed some sugar free gum. When I was leaving the movies Saturday afternoon, I stopped at a store, when I was in the store I was overwhelmed with a disgusting odor, a walking ashtray coming my way. There was this woman, it smelled like it was coming out of her pores. It smelled so terrible. I was so glad I didn't smoke. Of course, I didn't pull out my picket sign and run up and down the sidewalk proclaiming how much cigarette smoke stinks, I will never be that non-smoker. Even if it does smell, I was that smell and everyone has their own choice to make.
So what I learned:
1) FOOD JOURNAL, FOOD JOURNAL, FOOD JOURNAL -write it when you it, ALWAYS!
2) Portion Control - Pizza, Burgers, Popcorn at the movies are not going away, if you indulge, write it down, consider the rest of your daily meals and increase physical activity to feel better about it. Listen and feel how the food makes your body feel (the pizza and popcorn, made me BLOATED.. didn't feel great)
3) Water - DRINK IT ALL DAY, EVERY DAY
4) BLOGGING is critical for me, it makes me accountable
5) Don't beat yourself up and keep going, it is not over when you eat something that isn't healthy
6) I AM NOT ON A DIET, I am making life changes to get healthier.
I weighed in this morning at 319 pounds. As I look at this month so far, I still have accomplished a lot. I have exercised at the gym 10 times this month, lost 11 pounds and haven't smoked in 20 days, woo-hoo! It may not be perfect, I am struggling with making the right choice but I am doing something. This didn't happen overnight and I won't be cured of this addiction, obsession this obstacle overnight.
One meal at a time, one day at a time!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
good to see you are learning as you go....we all are!
ReplyDeleteDid you fill out the nutrition info at SparkPeople?! I'd binge if all I ate was 1200 calories!! I've been following their plan within range with my exercise accounted for for 4 weeks and have lost 15#'s...I'm not starving so I don't feel then need to binge. It's more than I thought I could have, but it's so working....just thought I'd mention it since I cringe at the thought of 1200 calories and I weigh 261!
Wishing you a great week!!
Michelle... first, thanks for all of your input and for reading my blog, it means a lot to me, so "thank you, thank you, thank you!" I did fill out the nutrition info on Sparkpeople, with my goals I should eat 1200 to 1500 calories. If I eat healthy, that can actually be a lot of food... seriously! I struggle with eating late at night, not because I am hungry, it is an emotional thing... bored, lonely, habit... I've been doing it for years and I think my body is actually accustumed to it. It will take some time, but I will get there and so will you!
ReplyDeleteHave a good week!!
Hello I am 6'0 and at your 343lbs. I use the bodybugg and Sparkpeople.com to track my nutritional goals. I know everyone can't use the bodybugg due to the intial expense but I want to let you in on a equation I learned. 3500 calories = 1 pound of fat. The program I use lets me eat between 2300 and 2550 calories and my target calorie burn is 3550. If I have 1000 calorie deficit on average everyday then I will be on target to loose 2 pounds a week. I have started walking and following the beginners walking scheudle at about.com/walking. The first two weeks I lost an average of 1.27lbs. Last week after beginning the walking program I lost 6.6lbs in a week. I eat 5 to six times a day and that includes dining out. With where you are currently at I would recommend talking with your physician it could be that you are not eating enough to maintain and that could actually hurt rather then help you with your goal. I applaude your efforts I just thought I would share some of the knowledge I have learned so that it might help you deal with some of the cravings. Good Luck and thanks for sharing your blog!
ReplyDeleteGreat feedback! I have heard so much about the body bug, I would really love one, I will have to check the expense though. I was laid off over 2 months ago and haven't found work, so I really need to pinch every penny possible. Speaking of, eating healthy is not cheap! But hey, were adding years to our life so that is priceless. (Think I just got an idea for a blog... hmmmm). I joined a challenge to walk 500+ miles in 2010, I am going to check out your walking routing in about.com. Thanks for your feedback!
ReplyDelete