I have to admit, I have been a little disappointed in my scale numbers this month. Mind you, in January, I lost 18 pounds and in February, I lost another 20 pounds. So far this month, I have only lost 5 pounds. Realistically, 5 pounds is great but after such big numbers, it seems like nothing, that damn scale envy girl is just not satisfied with 5. I knew I would not be able to maintain such large numbers forever but I was just hoping it wouldn't slow down until after 100 pounds, go figure! My actual goal is to lose 10 pounds a month, so if by some crazy chance that I can lose 5 pounds between now and next Thursday... I will have hit my goal, so keep your fingers crossed!
After reflecting, I can say that I am still tracking everything I eat, I am exercising and for the most part, making very healthy food choices. I did eat a cupcake on St. Patty's Day but I am completely okay with that. I didn't feel a bit of remorse or guilt, moderation is key and I only had one. Its amazing to realize that I have taken back the power in the food battle, I choose what to eat, food does not control me.
Last week, my son and I went to eat, we went to CiCi's Pizza (his choice of course) it was spring break and well, it had been forever so why not. It was funny, neither of us enjoyed it. My son asked "Mom what is happening to us, this food is gross, my stomach hurts and it is making me sleepy!" I felt exactly the same way. The food was terrible, I enjoyed the salad bar more than anything! The food did make us feel sluggish and well, crummy. It didn't do anything at all for us nutritionally. Instead of going home and planting ourselves on the couch, we decided to go back to the park and walked another 1.5 miles (we walked 1.5 early that day). This time, we walked along the waters edge and looked for bugs, wild onions and had a sword fight with sticks in the woods. It felt great. And at the end of the day, I was still within my calorie range, I was very pleased. I am thrilled to realize, there is balance and that my body doesn't crave the same JUNK it did before, my body is beginning to demand fuel to keep me going and empty calories loaded with preservatives, sodium and fat just don't cut it anymore.
This weekend, I decided I wanted to buy a new shirt and I was thrilled that I fit very nicely into a Size 22! It is close to being a little big, so I thought, can I wear an 18??? No, no way... but I humored myself. I grab an 18 and headed back to the dressing room... off the hanger, over my head, my arms are in, over my breast, what its over my breast?!?!?! and now over my stomach, it is on! WOW, an 18 is on my body, I haven't worn an 18 in gosh, who knows how long (too many years to count)! I did a little happy dance and jumped up and down. Now don't get me wrong, the 18 was snug, not as tight as spandex but not comfortable either. I could buy the 22 but for what, I know that it won't be long before I needed the 18 so I put the 22 back and bought the 18. My new Motivation Shirt, I can't wait to wear it! I am sure I will be able to wear it in another 10 to 15 pounds. Momma is gonna be stylin and profilin!
So instead of beating myself up because of that number on the scale and turning to food in disappointment, I will celebrate what I have accomplished this year:
- Lost 43 Pounds
- Down 19.5 inches (as of 03/01/2010)
- 150,500 Fat Calories Gone FOREVER, WOO-HOO
- I am at 22% of my Goal Weight
- I've lost a Mid Size Microwave, Sack of Sugar and a human brain
- I am only 1 pound away from losing an Elephants Heart
- I am wearing size 24 pants (was 26/28)
- I am wearing size 22 shirts (was 26/28)
- I can ride my bike for 3 miles strait
- I can hike 9 miles
- I LOVE the OUTDOORS
- I have so much more energy
- I haven't smoked in 11 weeks YIPPEE!
- I don't binge
- I am going out and having fun, discovering what I like and don't like
- I dance again!
And most importantly, there is LIFE other than FOOD! So, even if that scale doesn't move another pound this month, I am a SUCCESS, I am stronger everyday and I am proud of me! I CAN and I AM Doing this for once and for all! Momma always said, celebrate the little things!