365 Days with the 330 Pound Woman

2011-03-07T06:10:00.001-06:00

Week one weigh in, 307 pounds. I've lost 5 lbs, woo-hoo!

2011-03-03T20:23:00.001-06:00

Another day under the belt, 1199 calories. Getting it done!

Atkins Day 3

2011-03-02T22:17:00.002-06:00

Another good day!

Calories: 1331
Carbs: 66g
Fat: 76 g
Protien: 123g

Okay, for the first time I have been tracking my food on Sparkpeople. I don't care for it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some SPARK however I have always logged my calories on my iGoogle account through fatloser.com. When I did that, I had a complete breakdown of what I was eating including fiber, sodium, etc. The site also allowed me to enter and save recipes and custom meals. It really was helpful. I am going to finish the rest of this week up with Spark nutrition and then move back to fatloser.com.

Surprisingly enough, it has not been too challenging sticking to low carb which REALLY surprises but of course, you're not getting any complaints out of me!

I also wanted to give a big shout out to everyone tonight for your continued support!

Day 2

2011-03-01T22:27:00.003-06:00

Another successful day! I had a lot going on today so it was super busy. I got home from work about 5:45 pm. I have an ongoing commitment on Tuesday nights and I have to leave home around 6:20 to make it on time. I didn't have a lot of time to cook, so I just whipped up some breakfast food for dinner. I got home around 9:30 tonight and I cooked dinner for tomorrow (another commitment on Wednesday night).

Today, I went to lunch with a few colleagues and let me tell you, eating low carb at lunch was not difficult. I ordered a salad with meat. WOW, super easy. I was even able to turn down the bread and chips and dip.

Here is my intake today:

Calories: 1292
Carbs: 41 g
Fat: 99 g
Protein: 91 g

Breakfast
Two eggs scrambled with tomato, jalapeno and sausage

Lunch
Salad topped with Steak and blue cheese dressing

Dinner
Three eggs scrambled with tomato, jalapeno and sausage

Snacks
2 Pickles
2 Celery Stalks with pimento cheese
1 Mozzarella String Cheese

Atkins Day 1

2011-02-28T20:23:00.005-06:00

Okay, day one of Atkins was a success. I was surprised my calorie count was under 1500 calories, but I am thrilled it was!

Calories: 1403
Carbs: 48 grams (no food not on approved list
Fat: 109 grams
Protien: 71 grams

Breakfast
Two eggs scrambled with one sausage patty, half a jalepeno and tomatto.
Coffee with 1 tbsp cream and two equal packets.

Lunch
Salad (Iceberg Lettuce, Spinach, Radish, Cucumber, Green Olives; two tbsp of mozz cheese) with 3 pieces of bacon and 2 tbsp of Bluecheese dressing.

Dinner
Salad (Iceberg Lettuce; Spinach)topped with Flank steak that was cooked with jalepeno, tomatto and brocolli and 2 tbsp of Ranch dressing.

Snacks
Celery with pimento cheese and cream cheese
Two pickles
String Cheese

Here is a sneak peak at my dinner salad, oh my goodness was it YUMMY!!!

2011-02-28T07:39:00.001-06:00

A new day one! Weighed in at 312 (-2 even with binge) and beginning Atkins today. I'm not going to do it permanently just getting a jump start. Thanks Momma & Dawn!!!

Make a choice

2011-02-27T14:33:00.003-06:00

So, day 1 last week was a success and everyday since then has been a disaster. I've been on a binge for a few days now. It's crazy because I know what I want and I am doing exactly the opposite. Eating whatever I can get my hands on. It's the same self destructive behavior that I have been putting upon myself for years.

I know I need to change, I know it would benefit my health but in the moment, I don't care about anything else other than eating. This evening I am going to sit down and go through my bank account to look at the money I have wasted buying fast food. Hopefully that will help kick things in gear.

It scares me that I am back in a place of thinking about what I want and doing nothing about it. What is the problem? Clearly, I know the problem lays within myself, that I am not actually committing to making a change but WHY do I keep doing this to myself? I am falling back into a place of feeling no hope for "changing." The other day, I even reasoned with myself, this is who I am just meant to be.

How ridiculous, sure I am meant to be me, my personality, my quirkiness, my attitude and outlook... but a size, a weight doesn't equal a person. Why am I trying to reason that being overweight is just part of me? It isn't I am overweight because of the food choices that I make. It's not necessarily the food choice itself, it is the AMOUNT I choose to eat and the lack of exercise. I know these things yet I still eat, eat and eat. I've got to get out of this cloud, through this fog and back to a healthy reality. I do not want to be this person who constantly thinks of food or the next meal. Food does not define me yet it makes up most of my time, whether that is in thoughts or consumption. Food consumes my thoughts these days. My addiction. My love. My friend. My enemy. My source of energy. My lack of energy. My existence. My disease. My lover. My obsession. My confusion. My faith. My end of existence. MY CHOICE. Make a choice, make a choice, make a choice!

2011-02-22T22:25:00.001-06:00

Day 2 - Not a huge success, 2800 calories today. Tomorrow is a new day, the journey continues!

Day 1

2011-02-21T19:39:00.001-06:00

Okay, today is my day 1. It wasn't easy but I ate healthy and after counting my calories, I ate 1361 today. I was hoping to stay closer to 1100 but hey, that is great considering I have been eating up to 6000 a day! ERrrrrRrrr, I don't even want to think it.

I am focusing on my mantra last year "I want to be healthy!" One meal at a time, one day at a time. I can do this!

Reality Check

2011-02-20T17:23:00.003-06:00

314 pounds... that is my reality. I am crippling my spirit and my body. I find it difficult to move around, I have no energy, I just want to sit in front of the TV but mostly, I want to EAT and EAT and EAT and EAT some more.

Just five months ago, I was on top of the world, I was changing my life and taking control of my food addiction. I exercised nearly everyday for 9 months and ate healthy foods and counted calories. I went from 330 pounds to 268 pounds, I was winning the race. And look at me now, even quicker than I lost it, I am nearly back to my start race. I claimed that I would never do that again, and here I sit... 314 pounds. My feet hurt, my body is swollen, clothes do not fit me and I am miserable.

I have this deep rooted weed within myself that I am watering with food. Its as if there is nothing that can satisfies its hunger.

I tell myself, I can do it again but in reality, if you do nothing, nothing will happen. I can not continue down this path. I must regain control and get this weed out of me. It is killing me.

I remember at one point last year that I knew I'd win the race but today I ask myself how do I get back to the track. I feel so lost.

I sat down and looked at the differences between now and then and honestly, I am not doing anything but EATING. I stopped SPARKING and Blogging in roughly September last year and well, there went my accountability. Slowly but surely, I went a week without a workout, then two and well it was over a month, then I tried it and I was exhausted, I didn't cook so I bought fast food, and craved ice cream and brought that in the house and never stopped. All of my healthy choices were at wayside.

I can not stand here and watch everything go with the tide. I must stand up and fight for my health. This isn't just about weight, this is my life and my health on the line.

When I began my journey last year, I didn't have a plan other than blogging. Before you knew it, I was involved and committed to changing my life. So today, I commit again. Blogging was a great accountability factor for me. I know the things I need to do but I keep making excuses not to do them. Hopefully, as I blog, I can work some of these things out.

To a new Day one!

Ready, Get Set, GO!

2011-01-03T20:23:00.003-06:00

I am proud to blog that I got up this morning and did a 1 mile walk with Leslie Sansone, I just love that woman. I took my lunch, pre-planned, cooked, weighed and measured. I walked the stairs ten times at work (ouchie mamma!) and then hit up Curves this evening. It is a strong start to the new year.

I was going to just do my Walk away the Pounds tape but I had the energy and needed the burn. It felt good, very good!

I was doing a little research last night and was blown away when I found out that I had hiked, biked and walked 479 miles last year! WOW! Of course, that does not include everyday walking, that was simply me on a mission to exercise. I was dumbfounded that I was capable of so much. The crazy thing, I quit working out mid September, imagine what I could have done if I had not quit. Well, that is water under the bridge. One think I know for sure, it motivated me to get up and move more than you can imagine!

My goal is to hit 600 miles in 2011, that is only 50 miles month... I can do this! Will you join me for the adventure?

365 Days with the 330 Pound Woman, scratch 295 pound woman

2010-12-31T19:18:00.003-06:00

It is hard to imagine that 365 days have come to pass. I wasn't sure what was going to happen when I began this journey, no real commitments (other to blogging) just the idea of wanting to become healthier.

I lost 63 pounds by June of 2010. I maintained that weight through business travel and over the summer. From September to today, I have packed on inches and pounds. My weight loss is now down 35 pounds. I have quit smoking (1/4/11 will be exactly one year) which is a huge accomplishment in itself.

I went from not being able to bend over and tie my shoes at a size 28 down to a 22 pant. I am now back in a 24 pant and that is tight. I began this year loathing exercise and end it wishing I was still exercising everyday, it really did so much for me, emotionally and physically.

I found out that I had a passion for biking and hiking and that I could actually cook a pretty dang good meal that was healthy.

Overall, this was a great year. I have to admit, it terrifies me that I allowed myself to gain so much weight back in the last few months (honestly, I gained it Sept and October) and how quickly I lost my stamina and energy from not working out... it tells me that I am still the 330 pound woman. Even though the scales says otherwise, I have been eating what I want, when I want. My midnight snacking is back in nearly full force.

All though, I am struggling, I am not done. One thing I did learn this year, is that you slip, fall and get back up. You can't cry over spilt milk or obsess on what you may feel is a failure. You have to get up, dust off and keep moving.

As I have battled many challenges this year, traveled, found a full time job, lost weight, gained weight, LOVED exercising, hated exercising... I am ending the last day of 2010 very proud and content with my journey.

I will celebrate that I am 35 pounds lighter, two sizes smaller and enjoy my healthy lungs! My goal in 2011 is to move forward with my weight loss. Pick myself up, dust myself off, cook, pre-plan, weigh, measure, track what I eat and exercise.

2011 is going to be an amazing year. To health and prosperity, Happy New Year!!!

Holiday Cheer

2010-12-24T14:05:00.003-06:00

Christmas Eve is upon us. Many of us are still running around looking for that last minute gift, wrapping presents, baking and cooking. All working so hard to get to sit back and enjoy time with our family and friends.

As I am finishing up my last minute chores, I wanted to stop and to tell all of my blog family how much you mean to me and how much each of you has impacted me this year. Thank you for all of your support, encouragement and believing in me when I did not.

What ever your religion or belief, I wish you a wonder holiday season. Enjoy your time with your family and friends, kick back and enjoy yourself and don't feel guilty about the fudge. You deserve it!

Happy Holidays!

It's been too long

2010-12-17T19:19:00.003-06:00

I think we can clearly see that my devotion to my health has tappered in the last quarter of the year. I began so strong, so fast and furious. Quiting smoking, exercising nearly everyday, eating healthy... losing inches and weight like there was no tomorrow.

That is what it was like when I wasnt' working. Now I am working, balancing a full time job, a child and my health has not been so easy. I have offically been working for nealy three months.

I am not working out any longer and I am no longer tracking my food. I have gained about 20 pounds and have gone up two sizes. It is so crazy how quickly you fall back into old ways.

The good news is that I am still in the positive. I have still lost 40 pounds for the year and I am coming up on one whole year of not smoking, woo-hoo!

I clearly have not overcome obesity or my addiction to food. I have alot of work to do. I am not giving in, I just need to find the time to dedicate to myself and simply... stop making excuses on why I can not do it!

My desire to be healthy is not gone. I am going to spend some time this weekend focusing on my needs and come up with a plan or small goals that I can accomplish to keep moving in the right direction. I will not continue to gain weight, I will not be the 330 pound woman again! I can do it, I will do it! The fight is not over!

2010-11-25T23:14:00.001-06:00

A day to reflect and enjoy with friends and family, and of course... enjoy delicious foods! Thank you all for sharing this year with me!

2010-11-22T07:53:00.001-06:00

286 Pounds, doing my "Happy" dance! Thank you all for your kind words, encouragement and believing in me when I didn't. One meal at a time, gonna do this!

2010-11-16T07:27:00.001-06:00

Weighed this morning, 290 pounds. I've officially gained 22 pounds. This is not good.

Oiling the machine

2010-11-03T20:48:00.002-05:00

I've exercised two days in a row! Small feat but it is a mini victory. Its crazy how quickly you fall out of shape. No worries, I'm getting back in the game and putting on my tennies... if nothing else, I will keep moving my body!

To another day of excercise! One day at a time, one meal at a time!

Dinosaur Valley Adventure

2010-10-17T23:24:00.000-05:00

One of my passions I discovered this year was hiking. I figured since I am working on getting back into the grove, what better than doing something I enjoy :)

My son had his best friend spend the weekend with us so, how was I going to encourage them to get off the couch and step away from the video game remote control? DINOSAURS!!!

Fortunately, we have a wonder state park about and hour and a half away from us that is actually an archaeological dig sight... yea, no joke! It is called Dinosaur Valley and is located in Glen Rose TX. We got up extra early this morning and hit the road ready for adventure.

As we got closer to the park, the boys (even though they are 14) began to fantasize and talk about Dinosaurs roaming the Earth and lurking in the deep sea of trees. I found myself getting wrapped up in their fantasy world and imagined huge dinosaurs walking along with us.

We entered the park and decided to park at Track Site #1, there are three in total. Off we set in our adventure. Reading every sign, climbing up and down hills, crossing shallow water, through the thicket and beyond the path... we finally stumbled across tracks. How exciting. Its amazing to know that Dinosaurs roamed the very place we stood millions of years ago.

We hiked for 3.5 hours and played a good 1.5. We had a great time! The boys enjoyed skipping rocks across the water, catching frogs and tadpoles. I joined in on the fun, I just couldn't resist. We enjoyed our sack lunches and laughed and enjoyed each others company. We really had a great time.

It was very nice to get outside and get moving. I have to admit, not working out for the last six weeks has really taken its toll on me. Not to worry, I know I will regain my momentum over the next several weeks.

After driving back to town, I took my sons best friend home and went grocery shopping. Again, I found myself standing in the diet pill section looking for that thing, that little something to jump start my weight loss. I am not sure why I feel so weak. (It couldn't have anything to do with the Donuts I had for breakfast or the Chicken Finger Basket I had for dinner... yea, fried city galore). I did pick up a Detox kit... SlimQuick Cleanse and Detox. I also bought SlimQuick Ultra Fat Burner. Yea, I know... no magic pill will do it but I figured the detox will help remove toxins and waste which will hopefully give me a little jump start. I am not going to start the Fat Burner pill until I have completed my cleanse, which will be in 14 days. I am hoping that in the 14 days some of my sugar and fat cravings will have decreased and maybe I won't use the SlimQuick Fat Burner. Time will tell.

Here are a few pics from today

Feeling today is a great day for the outdoors!

2010-10-16T11:38:00.002-05:00

It's gorgeous in Dallas today! The weather is perfect and the sun is out... I am feeling an outdoor adventure. Hiking or Biking... hmmmm???

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2010-10-14T22:04:00.003-05:00

I don't even know where to begin. Clearly, I have not been committed to making my health a priority in the last 6 weeks. Somewhere between traveling for 5 weeks, coming home, accepting a FULL TIME JOB (YEA... I am no longer unemployed!), working 40-50+ hours a week, becoming a traveling taxi for a teen, catching up on chores at home, working on big projects and breathing... I have not gotten back into a routine of eating healthy or working out. I just can't seem to balance the tight rope... I want to do good, I say I am gonna do it but then there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to plan my meals, count calories or even to jump on my bike and ride.

Instead, I find myself day dreaming about losing weight... beating myself up because I have gained roughly 12 pounds of 62 pounds that I've lost. I am back in the hustle of bustle of everyday life and I finding that I have easily put myself on the back burner. I never intended for it to happen that way.

Even while traveling, I kept up my workouts... now, I was eating out every meal but I still worked out 5 days a week. I've been home since 9/4 and honestly, I have worked out only 3 or 4 times?!?!?! Not only have I not been working out, I am still grabbing food on the go, breakfast and lunch. Not only is it food on the go, it has turned into burgers, fries and greasy fried tacos.

I don't want to give in, I just have to find the balance. Most importantly, I need to stop beating myself and celebrate what I have still accomplished. I am still at 50 pounds lost and I have not smoked since 1/4/10 ... that is 9 months! WOW!

I want to thank everyone for encouraging and supporting me. Your feedback, comment and support means so much. I am going to take the challenge presented by many of you and prioritize my goals.

When I began my blog on Jan 1st 2010, my goal was to become healthy. I didn't have a plan however I committed to blogging. I haven't been blogging (partly because I am super duper busy ( I have traveled to 3 states this week, YIKES, while also trying to fit in my sons football game) and also because I don't want to acknowledge that I am not doing whats best for my health.

In the beginning, I committed to blogging about the good, the bad and the ugly... this just happens to be part of the ugly and I will begin to blog again on a daily basis... the good, the bad and the ugly... accountability!

One meal at a time, One day at a time. My journey continues...

2010-10-05T22:20:00.001-05:00

Gotta work through this lack of motivation and find my way back. I am NOT quitting!!!

2010-09-20T12:56:00.001-05:00

Just finished lunch, I'm at 523 calories for the day & feeling good. Now I just need to keep it up!

Getting back on the wagon

2010-09-20T06:31:00.004-05:00

It's been a week and I still haven't seemed to jump back on the band wagon of living healthy. I have not "officially" worked out, allthough I painted my house which was a workout! I did eat a little better for most of my meals. I ate out 3 times which I guess is better than 3 times in a day. I drank more water but not nearly enough.

I found myself wanting to buy cigaretted twice, I hadn't really wanted to do that in a while. I fear I am entering into self-sabotage. Last night, I found myself at Wal-Mart looking at Diet pills. I know damn well the answer is not in a bottle of pills. It is counting calories, eating healthier and exercise.

I didn't get up and workout this morning as planned, I slept right through my alarm. The day is young, so I commit to myself atleast 30 minutes this evening to workout.

Time management, being prepared, logging calories, drinking water, exercise... I've got to get back on track!!! Get back on track!!! Get back on track!!! A few month's ago, it seemed so easy and now it is feeling like so much work. The good news is that it doesnt seem impossible, now if I can just get back on the wagon.

A little encouragement to help motivate me this week is that I did drop two pounds last week. Let's see what I can do this week...

One meal at a time, One day at a time.

Lucy's got some splan'n to do

2010-09-12T20:43:00.002-05:00

I wish I would have forced myself to sit down and write this blog last Monday when I weighed myself but I just didn't find the time. As many of you know, I traveled for the last 5 weeks for work. I maintained working out however I ate out every meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Initially, I really tried to eat healthy, as the weeks passed, I order a bigger steak, added cheese, ate fried foods and asked for extra gravy. I also wasn't sleeping very well which of course, does not help your metabolism.

I made it back to Dallas around midnight on 9/3. I was pretty exhausted because I was living on about 9 hours of sleep for the entire week. When I got home, I vegged out with my son for an hour and then hit the sack. We ran errands all day on Saturday and ate out for lunch and dinner. Sunday, we enjoyed a BBQ at my sisters house, it was great spending time with the family. On my way home, I stopped at the store and got some groceries. I was ready to cook healthy meals and get back on track.

Monday morning, I weighed myself

Oh my goodness, I gained 7 pounds in 5 weeks... this is my first gain since January. I have to get back on track. I was ready, I had a healthy breakfast, had a sensible lunch packed and even a few healthy snacks. I worked until 6:30, by the time I was home, it was pretty late, I had laundry to do so I picked up a pizza. Tuesday started off strong, breakfast, snacks and lunch ready to go. I wasn't ready for the candy bars that were sitting in the office when I got out of the classroom. And before you knew it, I ate three and two bags of chips. What the heck??? I lost it and binged. Wednesday was just as bad, except I was able to reserve and only eat two candy bars. Thursday night was another pizza night and Friday was Red Lobsters. On Saturday it was Olive Garden and Sunday morning it was Denny's.

Things are out of control. What really freaks me out, is that I can feel it in my stomach, it's bloated, I am uncomfortable and feel sluggish. Yet, I keep doing it. I honestly had to ask myself, what are you doing? I was only 3 measly pounds away from losing 65 pounds yet, I am eating like I have nothing to lose.

I am stressed, I am working on getting back into the groove of things but it really freaks me out to see how easy it was to fall back into old habits.

For an even bigger reality check, I weighed myself this evening and I nearly feel over

I have gained 7 pounds since 09/06. Yea, look at the dates on those photo's. What the heck is going on?

I'm gonna tell you, I have been careless, I didn't work out at all last week and I am not counting calories. VACATION is over (not that I was on one)!!! Momma is back and I have a lot to get a handle on.

I'm working on getting back into a routine and balance. I am not going to beat myself up, it is scary that I allowed myself to slip so far into a downward spiral but regardless, I have come a long way this year. I love myself and I will find the balance, after all, I want to be healthy. This is a life long commitment and this is only a small hurdle in the road.

My Goals for September (from this moment forward):
1. Drink 8 glasses of water a day
2. Track everything I eat
3. Exercise 4 days a week

One meal at a time, one day at a time! 2010 is my year and I am going to ROCK it!

2010-09-01T07:25:00.001-05:00

Gym was full (3 machines) so I walked 3 beautiful miles in the rolling hills of Denver. Feeling good!

2010-09-01T06:20:00.001-05:00

Off to the hotel gym even though I'm not feeling it right now. Happy Wednesday!

2010-08-26T18:52:00.001-05:00

Just got off work, bags packed and ready to go, on my way to the airport! Dallas here I come, yehaw!

2010-08-25T23:32:00.001-05:00

Doing laundry & packing so I can jump on a homebound flight after work tomorrow. Can't wait to see my son and sleep in my bed!

The busy bee

2010-08-23T22:05:00.002-05:00

Hey All! Just wanted to say that I am still here. Things have been crazy busy in CO. I am so excited that I will be headed home this Thursday after class. I should arrive in Dallas around midnight, woo-hoo, to sleep in my bed!

My son began High School today, geez, time flies! He said he enjoyed his first day, of course, no school work, just getting settled into all of his classes. I really just can't wait to get home and spend some time with him.

I will be back in Denver on the 31st. I return to Dallas on the 4th for good. Yippee!

Don't get me wrong, traveling for work has been a very fun experience. I have had the opportunity to sight see and meet one of my most favorite SPARKERS SKTRAINOR! The weather in Denver is amazing and well, it is simply gorgeous here. My hotel is really nice but I have to admit, there is no place like home!

I kinda feel like August has just blown by. I have basically been out of the town the entire month and just don't know where the time has gone. Things will slow back down when I am home on the 4th and things can get back to normal. I can't wait to get on bike and enjoy a ride. It has been so long since I have rode.

I have plenty of blogs to sit down and write and gorgeous photo's to share. I've had the opportunity to visit the Rocky Mountains, Mt. Evans and Red Rock Amphitheatre, not to mention the beautiful Denver Botanic Gardens.

Right now I am focusing on keeping up my workouts. I have been doing my best to order healthier food but I am still eating out every single meal, 3 meals a day. I really feel bloated but I am not going to worry about it right now. I am working out and will get 100% focused when I am home and can count calories, cook my own food and ride my bike, do my exercise videos and so on.

I have set a new goal, my birthday is in October (the 8th to be exact) and would like to have lost 75 pounds by then. I know I am going to need to kick it into high gear in September but I know I can do it! One meal at a time, one day at a time!

2010-08-22T22:33:00.001-05:00

Spent the afternoon in awe of the majestic beauty of Mt Evans in CO, Elevation 14,260

Where has time gone

2010-08-15T22:29:00.002-05:00

On 08/05 I flew to Denver for work. In between working 10-12 hour days and fitting in some incredible sight seeing, I was glad to head back home last Wednesday. Of course, I worked from 7am to 6pm, jumped on an eight o'clock flight and made it home around 11:30. Even though I was exhausted when I arrived home, a second wind kicked in and I didn't wind down and go to bed until 1am. I worked on Thursday and Friday.

I washed laundry, did yard work and tried to get things in order. My son (love ya honey) finally came home from summer vacation (he has been gone for about 7 weeks, yikes) on Saturday. When he got home off to the streets we went. School shopping for high school. Oh my goodness, how surreal.

We got home late on Saturday, I cooked dinner and we hung out. This morning, I got up and finished packing my bags and headed back to Denver. It was hard to say goodbye and he wasn't ready to repack his bags either, but we do what we have to do.

I am going to be in Denver for two weeks this stay... I had hoped to download my pics from the Botanic Gardens and also from the Rockies but I never found the time. I am really hoping this trip I am able to rent a bike and ride a few trails and I also hope to make it up to Pikes Peak.

I have to admit, that all the locals say that Pikes Peak is overrated, but being a tourist, I just can't resist :)

I weighed when I arrived home last week and well, I gained two pounds. TOM was here but I also know I was eating much heavier than I usually do because I was out of town. I will continue my workouts but will work on ordering healthier food this trip. I was only 12 pounds away from 75 pounds lost and now, I am 14 pounds away. All is not lost, I will continue on, I just need to refocus.

When my son and I were out shopping, he said: Mom, you've lost more weight, your stomach has gone down. It felt great to hear that. It made me feel proud. I told him I have lost nearly 65 pounds and he just smiled. He asked how much more do you want to lose? I said about 135 more pounds... and he smiled and said, your gonna do it Mom, your already 1/3 there. What a smile it left on my face.

Dedication and Determination, it will happen!

2010-08-08T22:11:00.001-05:00

Had an amazing day hiking the Rocky Mountains! I can't wait until I can post pics, simply amazing!

Text Blogging... not a good idea

2010-08-08T11:47:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I attempted to text a blog. 45 minutes and one cramped finger later, no post!

So, what's the dill bill? Where has the 330 Pound Woman been, you ask? Well, I have been crazy busy. As most of you know, I am currently working a contract job and on Thursday, I flew to Denver for business. I will be here working most of month... basically thru September 4th.

I arrived late on Thursday (sat in the Airport most of the day, my flight was only and hour and fourty-five minutes). Was up a little late that evening, checking into the hotel, unpacking, a late night meeting, dinner, a quick trip to the office and then finally sleep. Friday, we were going to be in the office by 6am so I actually got up at 3:50am to workout. Yes, I thought I was crazy as well... good news is, I got in a great workout: 4.5 miles on the Elliptical which was 510 calories burned and gone forever!!! Woo-Hoo!

Yesterday, I had the awesome opportunity to meet one of my most favorite SPARKERS, KELLIGIRL1977 and her dear friend Cynthia. We went to the Denver Botanic Gardens (beautiful) and then to the 16th Street Shopping Center (amazing). We walked for about 5 hours. I'm not sure the distance or how many calories that were burned but 5 hours, it has to be off the charts! We decided to grab a bite to eat and headed for a Sushi bar. It was a first for me and well, it wasn't exactly my thing. I was excited to try it but I don't think I will do it again. The girls loved it though.. let me see if I can remember what we had. There was California Rolls, Lava Rolls, Poki Rolls, Spider Rolls and I can not remember the other. There was eel, crab, tuna and salmon, one was cooked and the others were marinated. If you enjoy Sushi, this would have been a hit with you. There was just something about the texture that I couldn't get past. But hey, to each is own.

Denver is gorgeous guys. It is full of life, entertainment and the sunrise is breathtaking. I actually meet four students at work on Friday that said they moved to Denver after visiting on vacation, I can understand why.

I have tons of pictures to share, I'm not on my computer, I am in the business center in my hotel so I will have to wait until I am at home to post. I will be home next weekend so take a peak back then and enjoy the ride :)

Today, my boss and I are going to find some mountains, I am so excited and ready to hike in Colorado! Rocky Mountains, here I come!

2010-08-08T08:54:00.001-05:00

Text Blog Test. Does it work?!?!? Let's find out... pressing SEND!

WIPE OUT!!!

2010-08-01T21:38:00.000-05:00

I have officially had my first WIPE OUT! Yup, it was destined to happen and finally did. Yesterday I went out with a friend for a 25 mile bike ride. I was hyped that I was ready to push myself and do 25 miles.

It was a gorgeous ride, a beautiful trail along the river.... plenty of trees, gorgeous scenery and the flowing water. I saw several horses during the ride, really taking it all in. About 8 miles into the ride there is an underpass under a major freeway, you pass a section where there are cars. Of course, using caution I passed. I crossed the road before my friend. As I look back to check on her I somehow winded up getting wedged between the concrete path and dirt, my tire was completely wedged and I couldn't get out of the grove. Looking up I see this wooden railing, I'm headed strait for it.... my heart is pumping, I'm losing control, I pull to the left as much as I can and then it happened, I was flying off the bike... I suddenly turned into the flying cyclist and landed hard on the concrete. Oh man, did it hurt!

Thank goodness, I really arched my back and avoided hitting my face, I jumped up quickly in the horror that I was about to be ran over by other cyclist. I pick up my bike and my friend helps rinse off my arm. Being a previous Boy Scout Leader, I of course, had Neosporin. I check out my bike, straiten my handlebar and hit the trail again. My knee and underneath my forearm, were throbbing... not to mention, the fact I was shaken up. About another 5 miles in, I found myself in the same situation, I over corrected and almost wiped out again. My adrenalin was pumping and well, I was just plain terrified.

With the adrenalin pumping up twice and the fear, I decided I better call it a day at 15 miles. It was a great ride, but I must admit, I wondered what Mother Nature was telling me. This week alone, I have been chased by a dog, almost hit by a car, ate a bug, wiped out and ALMOST wiped out again!

Today I am very sore, feel like I have whiplash in my neck, my ribs hurt (they took a lot of impact on the fall) and my knee is very swollen. I thought maybe I need to give my bike a break and maybe park it a while but then I realized something. Like all sports, you begin to get a confidence and you don't win them all. It's not time to park my bike, I will make a conscience effort to be more aware of my surroundings and my form. Most importantly, I will remember how much I enjoy the ride.

Of course, I have a few pics.... I considered reenactment of the crash, but just couldn't do it, LOL!

This is the railing that I almost hit, notice my bike track along the side of the concrete

This is my arm immediately after the crash

My helpful and concerned friend (awesome lady)

My arm today

Now this is getting random, but thought I'd let y'all know that I am a red head now

And this is a size 18 dress that I tried on today (I didn't buy it, but was super hyped that it fit)

Oh yea... a few weeks back, a friend of mine gave me some clothes (thanks Rai) and this is one of the dresses she gave me, I haven't worn it out yet, but I am thinking about wearing it when I go dancing with my friends... I am working up my confidence for it though. Oh yea, this is a pre-red picture (I'm a fiery red as of last night)

3.... 2 .... 1 .... Lift Off

2010-07-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have been stuck in the land of 270ish FOREVER!!!! Almost two months to be exact, I'd move back in forth 278 to 275... then finally 275 to 272.... last week I finally hit 270 pounds and I was just ecstatic. It was my first time to actually hit 2 - 7 - 0. I pumped up my workouts and tried a new workout (Turbo Jam, gotta love it) and today, what do I see on the scale???

Yes, that is right... 268 pounds!!!! Oh yea, that means I have lost a whooping 62 pounds since January 1st! Woo-hoo!!! I am feeling stronger, emotionally and physically and I see my body changing. Sure, there are plenty of things I could pick apart but I remind myself, I am healthier than I have ever been as an adult and I am working on me, which also means loving every bit of myself.

Right now, I just want to enjoy the fact that I have finally busted through the 270's which means I am moving again! I am literally on cloud nine and cant wait to hit the 75 pounds gone.

To make this a little fun:
I have officially lost 200 sticks of butter and a bald eagle .... or
5000 BTU Air Conditioner, a Chihuahua and a rack of baby back ribs .... or
A small bale of hay, a human head and an ostrich egg

I am excited and of course, you know I am ready for a workout! I think I will take my bike out for a nice cruise! Thanks for celebrating with me!!! Woot-Woot!

Houston, she has left the building!!!

Canoeing, Kayaking & Hiking, that's what I'm talkin bout!

2010-07-18T20:23:00.000-05:00

Had a great time canoeing, hiking and kayaking today! Here are a few shots from our day and let me just say, it was HOT HOT HOT!!! No worries, we drank plenty of water and enjoyed a few snacks during our adventure.

The three of us started out in one canoe, that was interesting! It wasn't very steady and honestly, we felt like we couldn't move without worrying the canoe would flip. When a kayak was available, we headed back to shore and I jumped into a Kayak. I wasn't sure if I would like it but I did. It was very fun but I had this issue, right right right, I kept going in right circles... crazy thing is... I am right handed, so I thought it would be left circles but who know's. None the less, it was very fun and let me say, the Kayak is a big workout... great upper body, core and obliques... I might be sore in the morning!

After canoeing and kayaking we enoyed a two mile hike... again, oh so HOT but none the less, we had a great time. Here are a few snap shots:

Busy as a Bee..... bzzzz.... bzzzz

2010-07-13T23:42:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here and doing good. Back to work and well, things are on and poppin! Busy as a bee.

I have been getting in my morning workouts and bringing my lunch to work. I did eat fast food 3 times last week, twice breakfast and once for lunch. Let me just say, when you work out at 5am (how did I become that girl?) your stomach demands food by atleast 7:30. This week, I set my alarm clock a little earlier so I would have time to make breakfast at home... so far, so good!

It's hard to imagine that I was out of work for 8 months, I am so busy right now it feels like I have been working the last 6 month's. The irony, gotta love it.

Over the weekend a friend of mine gave me some new clothes (she has also lost weight) and I am proud to say that I have 18's and 1X clothing that fits... wow, exciting! I got many cute things, I will work on a photo shoot and post some pics soon.

In the mean time, I will continue to focus on morning workouts, breakfast at home and taking my lunch. As always...one meal at a time, one day at a time!

Making a Choice

2010-07-07T20:47:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a stressful day. Not sure if was the fact that Tuesday was my Monday or I was running behind on chores... it was just a tough day. When I left the office yesterday, I wanted a cigarette. Seriously WANTED a cigarette. You know, gut wrenching, need it right now and can't stop till I get it!

I stopped smoking on 01/04/10, yesterday was a true test. I stopped at Walgreen's (best priced cigarettes in town) and stared out them. The clerk asked if he could help me and I said no, I just stood there and stared at them. I wanted to smell or even just hold them but I knew it would be over. I asked myself, what the hell are you doing and got the heck out of dodge.

On my way home I stopped at Sonic and ordered Mozzarella sticks. From one craving to the next, huh? Yea, I caved, I snubbed the cigarettes and decided to go fried. I have to admit, the 5 cheese sticks were the best thing I have eaten in a good while, not literally but it did give me the comfort and ease I was looking for.

I don't feel guilty about my choice, if I did it everyday, it would be a problem but I stopped at the cheese sticks and I got up this morning and had a great workout. Life goes on.

I could sit around all day and try to understand why I allowed myself to turn to food for comfort but instead, I will remind myself that I am on an ever changing journey, new challenges and obstacles everyday. Just like wine, I will improve in quality over time. In the mean time, I will remind myself that In 6 months, I have lost 60 pounds and quit smoking. Now that is something to be proud of, what a choice!

Getting down to business

2010-06-29T19:30:00.002-05:00

Monday I went back to work and I am so excited! Today, I received my badge and almost did back flips, I have access to an office, woo-hoo!

Between us, I was a little worried about keeping up with my workouts and eating well after returning to the workforce. So let's set the record strait... this girl is getting down to business!!!

On Monday, my alarm went off and I was out of bed by 5:05am. I even had a little pep in my step being so excited to go back to work. I popped in a Walk away the Pounds and went to walking. It felt great. It really set the tone for my day and I had more energy.

This morning, I hit snooze once, rolled out of bed at 5:12am. I was a little tired but I put on my tennies, popped in Hip Hop Abs and danced for 30 minutes. I felt incredible, I wasn't ready for my workout to end. Monday night, I wasn't able to ride my bike because of Lightning Storms. I decided that I'd hit the pavement for 30 minutes.

Out the door and on my bike I peddaled. I kept a consistent speed of 14 MPH, my highest speed today was 21 MPH for about a minute and a half, talk about a workout. I pulled back into the garage at 6:30am, I got in 6.25 miles. I walked down the street and back to cool down and then streched for a few minutes. There is nothing worse than not allowing your muscles to recover from a workout.

I was running short on time, so I jumped in the shower and got ready in lightining speed. I grabbed my lunch and was out the door on my way to work by 7:15am. Who would have thought.

On my ride to work, I smiled... six glasses of water, 30 minutes of Hip Hop Abs, 30 minutes of Cycling in the great outdoors all by 6:30am... pretty darn proud!

I am feeling so good, I am gonna go out for another ride!

All packed and ready to go

2010-06-27T22:16:00.003-05:00

Okay, tomorrow morning is my first day to head back to work in over 8 months! Wowzers! My temporary assignment begins tomorrow morning and I am so excited. To have somewhere to go, people to see and even better, earning some money! Woo-Hoo!

My coffee pot is ready, I am going to wake up to the smell of a freshly brewed pot of coffee. My lunch is packed (2 cups salad, 1 grilled chicken breast, 2 tbsl FF Thousand Island dressing, Snacks: 2 slices of cantalope, FiberPlus Bar and a Kashi Bar). I know what I am wearing and my alarm clock is set.

I have to be at the office at 8am. My alarm is set for 5:25 right now. Hmmm, time to change it to 5AM, I'd like to get in a workout video first thing in the morning. Off to bed I go. Wish me luck!!!

When are you ready???

2010-06-27T10:52:00.001-05:00

It's a question anyone that has ever struggled or tried more than once to lose weight has asked themselves, when will I be ready to finally make a change? What is enough? What is my breaking point? I must admit I have asked myself these exact questions a bazillion times. Longing and fantasizing to to FINALLY lose weight. We all have different reasons, some reasons more vein than others. Some of us have health scares, others finally see themselves in the mirror or in a photo, cloths don't fit, can't find anything to wear, uncomfortable sitting in a lawn chair, unable to ride a roller coaster anymore, painful shoes, unable to climb a flight of stairs, out of breath, back pain, unhappy, isolated, angry, unattractive, the little black dress, a pair of high heels, going to a high school reunion, looking for a new job, taking a trip... the list goes on and on.

There are many reasons to want to lose weight. So how do you take that want, that desire and turn it into something tangible? Most of us could honestly say, we have "wondered" what "they" did when they lost weight. What was that light bulb moment, when did it register and you finally take the plunge and do it? Why was it different this time?

I've asked myself those questions many times, I would buy every weight loss magazine and read books looking for the answer. I never got it. Sure, I found a little motivation that might last me a week or a few days if I were lucky. Nothing ever just jumped off the page and made me say, today is the day, I am changing my life. Okay, okay, being honest here, sure there were days I said that and you know what, later that day or maybe a few days later, there I was in the McDonalds fast food line which usually lead to going to Taco Bell and maybe even Wendy's. Before you knew it, I was on a downward spiral and going to bed eating a bag (yes, not a bar) of chocolate. I'd wake up bloated and miserable and the cycle would start again. I punished myself with food all of the time. I was utterly hopeless. It came to the point that I wouldn't even admit I was trying to lose weight because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would fail.

I began this journey on January 1, 2010. I didn't have a plan other than blogging. Today is June 27, 2010 (178 days later) and I am 60 pounds lighter. Not only am I 60 pounds lighter but I am active. I love the great outdoors: biking, hiking, swimming, and walking. I even enjoy the gym. I can not believe it.

178 days ago, I was miserable and did not have any faith in myself when it came to making a change. So how did the light bulb finally go off? What finally happened to make myself change, how did I become accountable for my actions?

I must admit, the blog helps with my accountability but what finally happened, is that I learned to forgive myself. I realized I was worth the effort and that one mistake that might lead to a week of bad decisions is not worth throwing in the towel. SPARK has truly helped to keep me inspired and of course, all of my blog readers. Thank you for taking this journey with me.

For anyone out there wanting to lose weight and does not know where to start, start small. 10 minutes of exercise, cut back on the Ranch, eat whole wheat bread instead of white, it is lots of little baby steps that add up to something huge.

I am no where near over but the real difference now is that I WILL NOT GIVE UP. Yesterday I spent the day at the water park. I meet some great people, we talked about weight loss, everyone has there own plan and what works for them so do what works best for you. When you fall down, which you will, we all do, just pick yourself up and dust yourself off, it is not over, you must see the big goal no matter how far that goal is, little steps will get you there.

No one can change over night, love yourself, forgive yourself and make yourself a priority everyday, you deserve to be healthy physically and mentally. One meal at a time, one day at a time...You are ready!!!

Something I have not done in years...

2010-06-23T21:54:00.001-05:00

I wore a dress and even better, I felt great wearing it! This may not seem like much of a post but I honestly can not remember the last time I wore a dress and could actually smile. There was a time that I'd pick this picture apart and find something wrong with it... or actually something wrong with me. Not anymore, those days are over. I no longer sit around beating myself up, I wish my arms were smaller, ugh, look at my legs and the dimples... nope not anymore. I am working to hard and I am loving the new me. Every square inch. My body is changing, taking new shape everyday. I am excited that I am finally molding and shaping the clay I was given, I can't wait to see what my final art piece will look like. In the mean time, I will appreciate the work in progress and sing the theme song my new dress inspired: "I'm bringing sexy back!"

Outdoor adventure and then some...

2010-06-22T00:03:00.002-05:00

The third Sunday of every month there is a canoe feast at a Nature Center that I frequent. Last month was my first time to join in the festivities and I LOVED it! Naturally, after telling my girlfriends all about it, they wanted to try it out. We decided to to make it an all girls outing without the kids, which doesn't happen often. Counting down the days we realized that the third Sunday of June was actually Father's Day. Needless to say, we decided to reschedule the girls weekend for next month. A few of my friends were still able to go so we decided that we would canoe and hike a trail or two.

It was a blazing 101 Degree's so we brought tons of water, wore plenty of sunscreen and brought a few snacks. As we were putting on our vest, we quickly see a sign that makes us really questions the laws in Texas. Did you know that it is against the law to molest an Alligator, um yea... I guess I will mark that off my bucket list since it's illegal (are you kidding me, we need a law for this?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!) So, just for your amusement:

After a good laugh, our adventure began...

After Canoeing, we hit the trails, breathtaking views. I love the way the light hits this tree and the forest.

After taking in some beautiful scenery we quickly meet the stairs to hell! Talk about a killer cardio work out!

.

Four and half hours later, we were all beat. On my ride home, I noticed my tooth began to bother me. When I got home, I took some Advil and hopped in the shower. I headed over to my parents house to spend some time with my Dad. During our visit, my tooth started to throb. By midnight, my jaw had began to swell. This morning, it was huge and I was in major pain. It's hard to imagine that just only a few hours before I was out with my friends having a good time enjoying the great outdoors. Fortunatly, I was able to have emergency oral surgery... not exactly fun but my mouth will be healthier once I heal.

I do have a few sutures so I am resting per the Dr's orders. I might try to take a little stroll around the block tomorrow.

You know how snap happy I am, so here is my golf ball jaw. Pre-Surgery Pics:

Update: Lots of tenderness that should go away over the next few days. I am still very swollen, dozing in and out of sleep but feeling much much better. The great news is that I wont have to worry about that side of my mouth anymore. I do have additional dental work that needs to be done but honestly, I am 50% there. I am getting closer to a perfectly healthy mouth! Yippee!

Is it possible...

2010-06-17T23:52:00.001-05:00

That this girl is a cyclist? You better bet your butt I am! That's right, this girl loves her bike!

It's hard to imagine that I absolutely LOVE riding my bike and hitting the trails. Before buying my bike in late February, I hadn't rode a bike since I was... ummmm, let's see..... like EIGHT! Yea, eight years old. Well, I am not gonna just throw my age out there but come on people, that has been a while (LOL)!

In January, I made the decision that I wanted to try riding a bike. It seemed easy enough and well come on, everyone knows the saying: It's like riding a bike! So how hard could it be? Everyone remembers how to ride, oh yea, I can do this... I think, at least I can give it a try.

I began looking at stores and found a few that were a little over 100, being unemployed, I wanted to spend less than that. I checked online and found a bike for $96. SOLD to the lady in red, naturally, that was me and I purchased it. It was great because it was delivered to the store for free and they even assembled it for free.

The day I picked it up, I took one look at the seat and knew, I'd need something else. I grabbed the biggest, softest seat that I could find. Once again the store came to the rescue and put it on for me. I was excited and couldn't wait to get home and try it out.

As soon as I got home, I pull out my bike and hop on.... off I go. Oh man, this is rough, pedaling is hard... okay folk's, the saying is true, you do not forget how to ride a bike but let me be the first to say it was not as easy as 1... 2.... 3 and well, it is nothing like being eight years old again. No wheelies, no hands free, no racing... every bit of my concentration was focused on balancing, not losing control; of course pedaling was pretty important too.

Man that ride was tough, I honestly didn't think I could do it. I pushed myself and I was only able to do half a mile. With my son's encouragement, later that day I did another half mile totalling one mile on my first day. Biking was hard, and I was out of shape.

As much as I wanted to say forget that dang bike, I promised myself, I would try. I joined a group on spark which I need to walk/bike 500 miles in 2010 so that encouraged me to get up and get on that bike again and again... eventually, I was able to do one mile, then two and then three miles strait. I was thrilled when I pushed myself to 5 miles. For several weeks I have been consistently riding 5 miles several days a week. Occasionally I would push myself a little further and make it to 6.5 miles. Talk about being proud!!!

Well, today, I did something even more... I was able to ride 15 miles!!! Yes Fifteen miles and my highest speed today 21.7 MPH. Not only did it feel incredible, it made me realize how strong I am and how anything is possible if you try.

Four months ago, I had to fight with every piece of myself to complete half a mile and today, I accomplished 15 miles. So when I ask, is it possible that little ol' me is a cyclist... Oh yea, I am a cyclist!

For anyone out there thinking about riding a bike, don't be afraid, just try it. Not only does it get you up and moving, it get's you out of the house, there are some great trails just for biking and you can see some amazing scenery while you clear your head and build your muscles. If you think your too big, don't doubt yourself, there is a bike out there waiting for you. And don't forget the gel seat... your booty will love you forever!

Wanted to share a few pics, this is the gorgeous lake I rode today!!!

My bike (one day, I will get a nicer bike, but right now, I love this one, especially with my speedometer and odometer)

Yea, after 15 miles, I ROCK!!!

Getting Back on Track

2010-06-15T22:59:00.002-05:00

Every month I log my success, I usually do this the beginning of each month. Today is 6/15 and I had not posted my progress yet. Partly because I was avoiding it. I haven't lost much weight, okay there was the one pound but that is not exactly something to scream from the top of a mountain however it is a loss.

As I was reviewing my May goals and what I actually accomplished, I came to realize that my passion for my health is flickering... like a candle that is nearly burnt out, my flame has become weak. So what do I do? Throw in the towel, call it quits? Not hardly! It's time to recharge and revamp... I have come to far to turn back now.

I need to take it back to the basics. I know I said this a few weeks ago but since then I have had a cookie here, bought ground beef there, ate white bread at a party, had a handful of chips and then another... just plain comfortable and sure, I will have fries with that. The honeymoon phase is over, everyday it is slipping further and further away.

The reality is, I am tired of slacking; there is no more time for excuses, I am committed to my health and reaching my ultimate goal of overcoming obesity.

To putting on my shoes and getting back to the basics and back on TRACK!

T ime for my health and exercise everyday
R est at least 8 hours a night
A ccept my shortcomings and forgive myself
C elebrate my success
K eep record of daily calories and water intake

Midnight Memories

2010-06-13T12:01:00.000-05:00

Friday night around 11:15pm, my son and I had a sweet tooth! You know, one of those, "Ice Cream" would be really good about right now!

I explained to my very fit 14 year old that 11:15 at night is not the best time to indulge in hot fudge and ice cream. He then says, "if we ride our bikes and only get one scoop instead of two... it won't be so bad!" I realized that kid was onto something!

We jump on our bikes, ride to the ice cream store (which closes at 11:30pm) and made it just in time to order. Since they were closing, we sat outside in the parking lot and enjoyed our treats. We shared a few laughs and told a few stories and headed home. The weather was absolutely perfect, the moonlight was gorgeous and we had a nice little breeze.

On my ride home I felt peace and so much happiness. As we got home and I looked at my son opening up the garage door to put up our bikes, I realized... that is what memories are made of! Gotta love the summer!

If you build it, they will come!

2010-06-12T09:34:00.001-05:00

Something that I have noticed is that ever since my son and I extended our porch, all of the neighborhood kids hang with us in the evenings.

They have always come over but in the past it was about playing RockBank (I am a rockband junkie, though not of late) and my warm peanut butter cookies but here recently we just don't ever make it inside. We hang out and "play" outside. Yes, play... even me.

I have had so much fun with the kids. I forgot how great dodgeball is and let me tell you, what a work out! Those kids had me busting a sweat and boy was my heart pounding, what a cardio workout! Then, there was the bike race. So, I did't win but third place isn't two shabby when your competetors are 14, 14, 11, 10 and 7. Yea, I placed third (beaten by the 11 and 10 year old). I proudly wear my silver medal and have the right to smack talk my 14 year old, LOL! Of course, he says he let me win but I beg to differ.

I was really worried when I cancelled my gym membership but I can see it is still possible to lose weight with the great outdoors and I have to say, it's so much fun to act like a kid again! The laughter, the joy and not worrying what anyone else thinks! I think, I just might be on to something!

Some positive news that could become permanent

2010-06-08T22:02:00.002-05:00

First things first, I have been MIA the last few days because I have been so sick! Terrible stomach virus, I literally have been in bed for three days. I am feeling better but still not 100%.

On a more positive note... I was extended a job offer today! Woo-Hoo! It is actually a temporary assignement that begins 6/28 and ends 9/17, it does have the possibility of going permanent so who know's... I just might knock their socks off and have a full fledge job before the summer is over! I am very excited and can't wait to begin. I will keep everyone posted on how things go! Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support! Keep sending them my way! Hugs!

Light in the storm

2010-06-03T14:04:00.005-05:00

When I set out of my journey, I didn't know what path I would take. I wasn't sure of what eating plan I would follow, if I would exercise or what at all would change other than I would write about my attempt to overcome obesity, the challenges, obstacles and my success.

With being true to my intent, I have to say, the last few days have been rough for me. Many of you know, I have been out of work for about seven months now. Needless, to say, it is taking its toll on me. Obviously there is the financial factor but mentally, it has been difficult as well.

I knew if I didn't find a job soon the day would come but I postponed it as long as I could. Instead of weighing in and measuring at the gym on June the second, I had to make a decision to cancel my gym membership. I was terrified to do it but you what they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. There was just no other choice, I could no longer spend $35 a month to workout at the gym. I was almost in tears when I cancelled, but being the big girl I am, I held it back.

On my way home I went through a slew of emotions.

Frustration: I paid for that membership for years and never used it. FINALLY, I've been working out 5 months and now I can't afford it?!?! What is wrong with me, why didn't I take control of my health sooner?

DOUBT: You can't do this without Curves, you need resistance training and well... your not gonna do it on your own. You might as well get a pizza on the way home, your gonna gain the 53 pounds back and always be the big girl!

ANGER: Why is this happening to me?!?

My mind took over and thoughts flew back and forth. The biggest thing in my head was fear. Am I going to gain back the 53 pounds that I have lost? I will, I know I will... I can't do this without the gym. I am never going to lose the weight.

Thank goodness my sanity took control again, I could lose weight, I am losing weight! I have workout DVDs that I do on a regular basis, I walk, I hike, I bike! I quieted the voice within, somewhat at peace with my decision and my ability to tackle this without my gym membership.

When I got home, I decided it was time to SPARK, I grabbed a glass of water and started to log in to my laptop... and then it happened. I spilled a glass of water and the flood gates opened!

I cried for about two hours. Is that even possible? I assume that I only had that many tears because of all the water I drank over the weekend. I honestly must have drank about 6 gallons during my project warrior weekend! Clearly, I was bummed out and at my limit.

Of course, the flood was more about being scared of failing than making a huge mess. I just couldn't stop the doubt and insecurities. They hit me like a deer in headlights, I cried like a baby and then crawled in bed and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I decided that I needed to SPARK, I needed motivation and inspiration. I sit back down with a new glass of water and there it was: I was named DONE Girl of the month!

It could not have come at a better time. There are so many people that believe in me, that have faith in me. That actually see how strong I am even though I have doubts about myself. This honor, this feeling, it is amazing. I was just thrilled and in awe that I was chosen. It lifted my spirits and let me know, I am not in this alone, I don't need the gym... I CAN do this. Sure I am going to have to get out of my comfort zone and find new ways to get in that burn but it can be done!!! I am going to do this and I will not give up.

So I want to take a moment and thank the DONE GIRL Team, my blog followers and all the incredible SPARKERS who have given me inspiration, strength and motivation. You help me to believe in myself and know that it is not over, we all have set backs and all that matters is how we choose to look at them. My journey is not over, I am no where near that finish line but I am one step closer because of you. I really can not thank each of you enough for your support, encouragement and helping me believe in me when I felt like I couldn't do this anymore. You are my light in the storm!

For those of you who are not familiar with SPARK, check them out at sparkpeople.com. This is basically the Facebook of weightloss. You can track calories, exercise, find an eating plan, set up an exercise program... the benefits are endless but most importantly, there is so much hope, inspiration and motivation. If you struggle at all or are looking for support, I strongly urge you check out there website. You can also find my sparkpage at: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=330POUNDWOMAN

It can be a little overwhelming at first but before you know it, you will be able to use the website with your eyes closed. If you decide to join, add me as a friend and I will help you out anyway that I can.

Weekend Project Warrior

2010-06-01T00:12:00.002-05:00

Friday morning when I woke up, I was sore from all the shoveling on Thursday but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I had another idea this morning and knew that I would be building a raised flowerbed. I was at Home Depot by 8:00 am. I received great service and was even served coffee, wow, I might need to come to Home Depot every morning! I explained to Mark what I wanted to do, drew a little diagram and told him I had no clue of what I was doing. Before you know it, I am leaving home depot with decorative stones, rebar, top soil, garden soil, a drilling hammer; and flowers. I can't wait to make it home and begin my project.
Before

During

Finished

WOW, I did that, can you believe it?!? Thanks to my Dad and my brother for letting me borrow a coal chisle to score and cut my bricks for the perfect fit. Friday was a success! Just another day of hard work and a girl determined to tackle a project. What a workout, 12 hours in the yard, digging, moving bricks, hammering in rebar, moving bricks, filing holes with sand and excess dirt, moving bricks, planting flowers and did I mention, moving bricks? It took me few times to figure it out exactly but I think it turned out great.

On Saturday morning, I didn't think I would be able to move, but I did. My son and I head back out to Home Depot and to Lowes for additional supplies, pavers, sand and a retaining edge. It was great having a helper.

We get home, unload our new materials and dig in, literally! We dig out a complete 4x6 area that was about 5 inches deep

install the retaining wall, level and pack the ground

We add sand and level that

We finally begin to add the paving stones

Now it's time to cut strait lines and right angles... oh no, I don't think I can do this. Thank goodness my father is great with Math and measurements, he came over and helped me figure out my right angle. When he left, I began to score the brick and oh no, the brick crumbled, I try another and another... oh no, they all crumble. At this rate, I am ready to scream. I call my Dad again, and he suggest I call it a night and ask Lowes how to cut the brick tomorrow. I take his advice.

On Sunday, I decided to forget it, I would return the brick and buy a brick that has a strait edge. I looked online at bricks at Lowes and Home Depot. I do a little math and calculate how many new bricks I will need. My son and I load all the paving stones back up and head back to Lowes. Of course, no one could tell me how to cut the brick. In frustration, I decide I will not buy the bricks from Lowes and head back to Home Depot. Before you know it, I am headed home with my new supplies, my son and I both looked at each other and said, we are almost done!

The new brick I purchased was 4 inches thick, we had to dig out a lot of sand from our work area. After doing so, we wet the sand and leveled it back out, we begin to install the bricks, creating a pattern, there are a few adjustments we need to make. My Son scores and cuts a few bricks

I score and cut a few bricks

Row by row we are so close to being done and then it happens: ONE BRICK SHORT! NOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

My Son urges me to wait until Monday but of course, I can not rest until this patio is done! Back to Home Depot, one last brick!!!

I make it home pretty quickly, we pop in the brick, pour sand on top of the patio, fill the cracks and sweep it off... we are done!

4 Days, 34 laborous hours, 9 trips to Home Depot and Lowes, umpteen houndred pounds of brick, 6 hours of shoveling, 4 hours of leveling, 20 gallons of water and one small project idea later.... we were able to kick back and enjoy our new porch.

Project calling my name

2010-05-27T21:59:00.002-05:00

This morning I had an itch to go to Home Depot. I have french doors that I wanted to cover the windows with decorative film. I head out the door around 8:15am. I make it to Home Depot in a matter of minutes, quickly greeted with smiles and warm faces. I find the decorative film and realize, I was not ready to make a decision, just so many choices. Being a penny pincher, I called Lowes to compare prices. Nine transfers and fifteen minutes later, I learn that Lowes has their decorative film priced cheaper. I quickly leave Home Depot and arrive at Lowes in a matter of minutes. As I walk into the store, there are plenty of employees but not one hello, how are you or even eye contact. Hmph, poor service, what a turn off. I decide it wouldn't stop me from getting the great deal I was quoted on the phone. Off to find the decorative film. I search and search and can't find it. Three employees later, I find the decorative film. WOW, the pricing is not what was quoted on the phone, it is much higher than what we discussed via phone. As I decide to head back to Home Depot, I decided to take a quick look in lawn and garden. Before you know it, I am leaving with pavers, sand, gloves and insect killer.

Okay, I did a complete 180 when it came to my project but I have really been wanting to do something in the front yard. When I got home, I unloaded my purchase, which I am proud to say that I loaded and unloaded by myself. I intended on taking before and after pics and well, I was so excited when I got home, I jumped right in and didn't get the before pic. I moved two large bushes, cleaned out weeds from my flower bed, filled a large hole (2ft deep, 3ft wide) with soil, dug out a small flower bed and grass area that I plan on paving. I also transfered grass from the area I dug onto the hole that I filled. I watered my bushes and also the transfered grass. I am so excited that I no longer have a huge hole in my front yard! Woo-Hoo! It looks so great, you can hardly even tell that it was a hole yesterday. I really hope my grass survives the transfer and roots well. Fingers crossed.

I am nearly finished digging out my area to be paved. Tomorrow, I hope to finish clearing my work area and level the ground. If all goes well, I will have it paved before end of day tomorrow! Woot-Woot! The area is about 4ft by 6'10" not huge but certainly big enough for my first project of this magnitude. I am going to have to make another trip tomorrow to pick up edging for the sand. I am excited to see how things turn out. Of course, I will post pics once I am done.

Disclaimer: I shoveled for 2 hours today and oh my goodness, momma is sore, S O R E, sore! I hope that I can move tomorrow, I worked in the yard for a total of 4 hours today and well, it was better than any gym workout that I have had in long time!

Plateau or No Plateau

2010-05-26T07:58:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know, I have been at a plateau the entire month of May. The number on the scale has just sat at 278 pounds. Overall, I have had a good month, yes there was the no working out for six days and of course the binge however, for the most part, I have been going strong. Riding my bicycle, going to Curves, Hiking every weekend, Kettlebell and even my new found bootcamp, which I am enjoying. Who doesn't enjoy a little torture every now and then?!?!

Monday I was scheduled for my weekly weigh in and wouldn't you know, TOM decided to join me Sunday, oh, the joys of womanhood. Despite his visit, I weighed in at 277 pounds. Yes a one pound loss. Okay, this isn't a huge breakthrough or a monumental loss, heck it could be a fluctuation in water weight or even the outfit I was wearing. None the less, it is a loss.

I have updated my tracker and hope to see a bigger number next week. I have also spent some time thinking about the things that I have can do differently. I realize I have become comfortable, maybe a little too confident.

I am not tracking what I eat like I had been, with that being said I really do not know what I am consuming everyday. I guess about 1500 calories but that's it... it is just a guess.

No more guess work, I am back to tracking everything . I eat it, I track it. Also, while my exercise activity has changed like night and day, basically a complete 180, from nil to daily... I have been more sedentary as of late. Other than my basic household chores, cooking and cleaning, my workout is the only time I have been up and active. I am spending a lot of time online looking for work and in the evenings watching TV.

While I can't say that I have busted threw my plateau and I can say that I am committed to tracking what I eat and also being more active in my day to day activities. To putting my health first! I am gonna do this!

52 things I appreciate

2010-05-23T20:07:00.001-05:00

Since January 2010, I have lost 52 pounds. Some people would say, wow, that's great! What are you doing? Your looking good kid! Your really doing it! I'd smile, thank them and maybe even feel a little fuzzy on the inside. It would only take a moment for my mind to start playing tricks on me. You see, the scale hasn't moved in 3 weeks. My weight has not crawled up or down. It is just there, sitting at 278 pounds. I guess you could say that I have hit a plateau.

Tomorrow, I have my weekly weigh in. Of course, there is a possibility that the scale could continue to sit at 278 pounds. I could easily become discouraged. But you know what? I am not going to play into that mental mind game. Instead, I am going to focus on 52 things that I appreciate.

52. Nature Centers
51. Hiking Trails
50. Sunrise
49. Sunsets
48. Lakes
47. Waterfalls
46. Bike Trails
45. Bicycles
44. Weekend Getaways
43. Roadtrips
42. Maps
41. Birds
40. Flowers
39. Trees
38. Camping
37. Tying my own shoes
36. Painting my own toenails
35. Afternoon Naps
34. Long Walks
33. Pony tail holders
32. Music
31. Dancing
30. Zumba
29. Curves
28. Skinny Cow Desserts
27. BBQ Grills
26. Water
25. Swimming Pools
24. Sunblock
23. Lunch with friends
22. A good book
21. A nice bottle of wine
20. Pedicures
19. Body Massages
18. Pets
17. Coffee in the afternoon
16. Kisses
15. Hugs
14. Spark
13. Spark Buddies
12. Walk away the Pounds
11. Hungry Girl
10. Movies
9. Laughs
8. Hope
7. Faith
6. Love
5. Joy
4. Friends
3. Family
2. My Son
1. God

I am still going, I am moving, working out, eating healthy and enjoying myself. So I am not discouraged, I am not going to beat myself up and I WILL NOT QUIT!

Destination Travel Routes

2010-05-19T02:54:00.005-05:00

Vacation, weekend getaways, a little R&R, visiting family, business, just because, frequent flyer miles, camping, and the girls getaway is just a few of the many reasons we travel.

First you pick your destination and you consider your travel options: airlines, road trip, train, bus or possibly even a boat, it just depends on the traveler. Everyone has there favorite way of traveling, personally, I enjoy road trips. I love riding down the road, with a map (no GPS for me folks) and someone I love beside me. The memories you share, the laughs, the games you play, the little stops along the way just make it so much more enjoyable. I don't now, there's just nothing better than someone I care about in the passenger seat and an open highway... you never know what to expect.

So let's say, you decide to take that road trip. You obviously know where your going, you pick your travel route, pack your bags, load up the car, grab your camera, fill up on gas and hit the road. You've brought along plenty of music and you might have even packed food and drinks for the trip.

You start off excited, you have a plan, your ready for fun and you finally get to the highway. Once you get on and you set your cruise control. The Speed Limit is 65 but your set at 70. As you drive along, visit with your company, sing along to the music, laugh at jokes and enjoy the scenery you might hit a road bump or a detour. Sometimes you have to pull over and stop unexpectedly.

As I think about that, I realize my journey to overcome obesity is exactly that, a road trip. I want to get from "here" 330 Pounds to "there" 135 Pounds. No matter what road I travel, my desitnation is 135 pounds.

So I am cruising down the highway at 70 MPH and then I notice that traffic is at a dead stand still 25 yards ahead... I have to stop. Eventually, the traffic will begin to move and if it doesn't, I would never just sit in the middle of the freeway perpetually, I'd find a new route, take the next exit, stop and get a fresh breath or air.

Just like the road trip, if you hit a detour along your destination to be healthy, you find another route. Your not completely derailed, your just simply stalled for a moment. And think about it, some of life's best memories are discovered on a detour.

So the next time you feel like you have no hope, or you think, wow, it was so easy to fall back into old habits, what is the point, but I have so much more to lose... I just can't, this seems impossible... STOP, erase those thoughts. Pull over, take the next exit and look for a new route. Revamp what your doing, come up with a new plan, one thing we know for sure, you can not just sit in the middle of the road, at some point, you have to make your way back home.

My point is, don't ever give up. Your worth it, you ventured away from home, your comfort zone, your trying new things and things get tough. Sometimes we can't see what is on the horizon beyond the hill or the mountain in front of us, but as we take one step at a time to get to the top we will get there. It may take longer than expected but at some point, you will reach your destination. Along the way, you will discover just how amazing you are.

As many of you know, last week was a low for me. I didn't work out for six days and I even binged. I was afraid of how easy it was to stop exercising and how quickly I ordered that pizza and ate fried fish, but you know what.... it was just as easy to get up and walk 3.5 miles on Saturday. Just putting on my workout gear on made me a little giddy inside, I was excited to get out and move. On Sunday, I enjoyed canoeing for an hour followed by a 2.5 mile hike. On Monday, I went to the gym and rode my bike for 3 miles. Tuesday, I rode 5.25 miles on bike and worked out at the gym. It was great! My body enjoyed it. So just as easy as it was to fall off track, it was just as easy to jump back on track. My trip is not over, I am still on my journey and headed towards my destination.

I exited the highway for a moment but I am on a new route. Cruise control set, back on the open road!

Motivation Board

2010-05-16T23:25:00.005-05:00

As I am working on taking things back to the basics, I decided to take advantage of my Friday night insomnia and I made my motivation board. It is something I have been intending to do for months and finally sat down and did it.

After completing it, I felt great! Not only did it look incredible, I really was able to put my creative side to use and felt so inspired. Everything that I placed on my board had meaning. With every cut, paste and stroke of my paint brush... I felt stronger. It helped me realize, I have come a long way and have so many great things to look forward to. I have a deep desire to take control of health for so many reasons and I was able to express it all on my motivation board.

I went through about 12 magazines and clipped pictures that jumped out at me, some I knew I would use and others, I thought, hmmm, I might use that. It captures my goals completely....

Does that look good or what?!?!?! LOL! Not to toot my own horn or anything but TOOT-TOOT! LOL! Let's take a closer look and I can explain what it all means to me...

The red dress signifies a strong and confident woman who loves all of her curves, the tape measure around the waist represents being my own biggest loser. Obviously, heart health means just that, having a strong healthy heart that is free of disease. Get Smart is actually written in various vegetables, so this is about choosing the foods that are healthy and are fuel for my body. Health is about overall health, underneath health it says: smart ways to live well, strategies for eating right and easy fitness plans. Happy is about enjoying life and being so happy that everyone notices and I shine, Cardio is about doing exercise to help keep my heart healthy and strong, Love healthy suppers is making healthy food choices every night and Body Love is about accepting every nook and cranny, every dimple, every scar; every mole; any imperfection that I create in my own head... being so comfortable in my own skin and appreciating the body the good Lord gave me.

Taking a closer look on the left

the top picture is a woman working out on the Curves circuit, this is important to me because not only is it a great workout that combines cardio and strength training, it keeps me sane and I burn up to 500 calories in 30 minutes... awesome! The next image is people standing in different positions to say "Never Stop Moving" I love this!!! I never want to take my health and legs for granted ever again, I want to move, dance, jump, hike, do cartwheels, stand on my hands, run; dive anytime, anyplace. I don't want my size or achy body to hold me back EVER again! There is also a picture of a beach, this is about traveling and seeing the world, my size held me back for so long and I don't want to live like that anymore. No more fear of seat belts on planes, fitting in roller coaster rides or worrying what someone will think of the large woman wearing a bathing suit walking on the shoreline or jumping in the pool. Below that the caption says, "Lose it and Keep it Off," which needs no explanation. The picture of a woman walking with a heart sunrise behind her is about being active, parking a little further than usual, taking the stairs, enjoying a nice walk or hike to keep my heart strong and healthy. Then, there is the bombshell in the denim outfit! Absolutely simple outfit but sexy as all get out, who knew that a pair of jeans and a denim shirt could look so good? Please understand that I don't expect to be that size but this picture is about being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself. It is about being a strong, confident woman who loves her curves and loves being a woman, not arrogant or concieded, just the perfect balance of being comfortable with yourself and appreciating all the hard work you have put into your body.

Moving over to the right...

Family in bold letters is on the very top, next to my health, that is my number one priority. In smaller letters underneath Health it says "Building a Healthier Home" that is about having a healthy home mentally and physically, teaching my son how to respect and love himself, others and life. It also is about teaching my son to have a healthy relationship with food and understand the importance of nutrition. There is a grey circle, that is similar to a snow flake that says the"Great Outdoors" this goes back to being active and enjoying the outdoors during all seasons, even when it is cold or rainy outside. There is a picture of an ashtray and it says BUTT-OUT, this of course is about being a non-smoker, not only for myself but to be a positive role model for my son. How can I ask him not to smoke as I light up a cigarette? The money is about saving, that is so important to me that I have two Geico Money bundles, I hope to save a lot of money! There is a pink tape measure shaped as a heart, this symbolizes love, heart health and cancer awareness. On the far right, there is a archway covered in greenery, flowers and has a bird resting on the top, this represents my desire to have a beautiful yard that is my haven, a retreat, and backyard get away. Last but not least, there is a plant growing from soil, this is about planting beautiful flowers and growing a garden for my family... our very own fruit and vegetables to enjoy. What a great way to save money, exercise and eat healthy... what more can you ask for?

Needless to say, I am very pleased with the results and I proudly put it on display on my large dresser in my bedroom. I love to look at it. It is the first thing I see when I wake up, I see it when I walk in my room and it will also be the last thing that I look at before closing my eyes each night to go to sleep. What a great way to help me focus and reflect.

Now entering the Danger Zone

2010-05-14T21:00:00.001-05:00

I have not put my finger on it, I am not really sure exactly what it is but I must admit, I have not worked out in 6 days. Yes, six whole days, like one, two, three, four, five, six. That is almost an entire week. The closest thing to exercise this week was me washing my car for 45 minutes but that is really just me trying to feel better about my choice to not exercise.

I say it is a choice because I decided not to make myself a priority this week. This is the only week since the first week of January 2010 that I have not exercised at least 5 days. Okay, there was the week in April that I had oral surgery and was only able to work out for three days.

When my journey began in January, I was not sure what I was going to do but I knew that my health had to become a priority. I could not allow food to consume me any longer. I didn't really have a plan other than blogging, as a matter of fact, my Mom and I laughed and joked that my plan was to write myself thin. Since then, I have began working out, eating healthy, quit smoking and making myself as a priority. I have also lost 52 pounds, 30 inches, walked and biked over 192 miles (not counting everyday walking). I began to enjoy hiking, being in the great outdoors, and being active with my son.

I also learned the importance of counting my calories, which I have not done in six days as well. I don't want to admit this but I had a mishap yesterday... I ordered a Pizza for dinner, which is not unforgivable... but I stopped at Long John Silver on my way to pick up the pizza. I ate one piece of fish, fries and two hush puppies. In my head, I told myself it was okay because I didn't eat lunch yesterday, but I knew that feeling... the gut wrenching I am losing control and I don't care feeling. You know, the feeling that food is the only thing that can satisfy "that feeling." I have not binged since December 2009. I turned off that voice in my head and said to hell with it, I am doing this and I did. After eating my Long John Silver, I picked up my Pizza. When I got out the car to go inside, I checked my shirt from crumbs, or otherwise evidence of my act. Phew, no evidence. I go inside and pick up my pizza and head home. By the time I began to serve dinner, I was so full. I ignored it and put three pieces of pizza on my plate and said, what the heck and grabbed the Ranch. I forced myself to eat one piece and I was miserable. I looked at my plate, there are two pieces there.... I eat a few bites of another piece. My inner voice came back and I shut her out again. I finished the second piece. I knew I should go and put the third piece back in the box but I didn't want to . Something inside of me knew I would eat the third piece. It was an hour later, but I did, I ate it. I have not eaten that much in a long long time.

Today, as I think about what I did, I can't say I completely understand it. I can make 100 excused but the bottom line they would be exactly that... EXCUSES. This is deeper than an excuse, I actually chose to put myself on the back burner and ignored my body, ultimately ignoring my health. That is a dangerous unhealthy place to be.

Taking it all back to the basics, this is about my health. Not a desire to be skinny or thin, this is about prolonging my life and being healthy mentally and physically.

I have got to get to the bottom of this and find the nearest EXIT and get the heck out dodge, the danger zone is no place to be.

I don't like to be negative or dwell on things that bother me but I really feel like I need to address them to get out of this funk. Most of my life, I have always worn the smile so no one would know what was wrong and then I would use food to release my emotions (hey... am I on to something here?!?!?!). So I need to express this and keep it real, no more faking it till I make it.

I was laid off in Nov 09, this is the first time in my adult life that I have not had a job. By the grace of God, I am making it but I am scared. I am a single Mother with a Mortgage and the money is gone. My unemployment only covers my Mortgage and car payment. I am so stressed about this that I am no longer sleeping. I have fallen into a bout of insomnia. This is hard for a person that usually falls to sleep in 4.5 seconds of my head hitting the pillow. As of late, I may not actually go to bed until 8 o'clock in the morning. I was actually so tired the other day that I cried because I wanted to go to sleep (man am I playing this violin or what?).

Beyond not sleeping, I haven't had many call backs to applications that I have put in. In March I began interviewing with one company, succeeded to interview with 8 people, facilitate a presentation, and then present a solution to a business case study. I really thought I had it, I really wanted the job, not just because I needed it but because I liked the people, the opportunity and could see this taking my career to the next level. I found out Wednesday that I did not get it. I was disappointed, really disappointed. Of course, I trust the Lord will put me where I need to be and do what is best for my family but the flesh, the human side, was still disappointed and discouraged.

This week, I have been feeling a little lonely. I miss people, I miss having somewhere to go everyday, people to talk to, a purpose bigger than me. I would also like to actually go to a company and apply for a job, I am tired of spending my day on the net... it is so impersonal, but this is the way of our time. Apply online, apply online, apply online.

Okay, enough is enough... I actually feel better writing all of this down.... I am sorry that your eyes had to see it but I appreciate you hearing me out. Please know that I am not looking for sympathy I just needed to let it out. Thank you for being there for me and helping me work through this.

My plan is to keep it basic and focus on why I am on this journey. Recommit to the affirmation on my mirror "Taking control of my Life." Create a visual to remind myself why I am doing this, write down my goals and forgive myself for the last six days. Refer to my mantra: "One meal at a time, one day at a time" and "I want to be healthy."

Most importantly, I will forgive myself for the last six days and keep moving. When I don't feel like doing it, I will seek out my Inner Drill Sergeant and get it done!

Cravings

2010-05-11T23:42:00.002-05:00

Have you ever just had a craving? Like a gut wrenching, gotta have it, want it right now craving? I am not sure what overcame me, but I walked into the store, went strait to the cookie aisle and before you know it, I was standing in line with not one, but three bags of cookies. Yes, three bags! I had a bag of Iced Circus Cookies, Coconut Cocadas and the very evil Danish Wedding Cookies.

Fortunately, there was a line at the register, even in self-checkout. As I stood there, wishing everyone would hurry up, so I could get the heck out of the store and into my ever favorite Danish Wedding Cookies, I began fighting with myself. I looked at myself and wondered, what the hell am I doing? I look at the cookies and the caloric value, oh man, this is terrible. I don't care, I want these cookies. I look over my shoulder to make sure I didn't see anyone that I knew. Nope, no one to stop me. Oh man... what the heck. I can't do this. But I want this! I want to eat those cookies! What, 4 little cookies are 130 calories, oh my goodness, there about the size of a freaking quarter, are you serious and just forget about nutritional value. 13 servings in the box??? I hate to admit this but I knew I would eat the entire box before the night was over, maybe even before I got home.

I check over my shoulder again and then I see it, there she is... that 330 pound woman looking back at me in the glass reflection, not only was she starring at me, she was standing there holding three bags of cookies! Then it hit me, if I walk out of this store with those cookies, I would always be the 330 pound woman.

I put the cookies down and calmly walked out. On the way to my car, I couldn't understand what was happening. I wanted those cookies but I know I would have no self control if I had them at my home.

I am happy to say that I didn't buy the cookies but I have thought about them, and I know this won't be the last time that I do. I know that my lifestyle change doesn't mean that I can never ever eat a cookie again but I also know that I am a compulsive eater and there is no way I could be trusted around a dozen cookies much less a bag of them.

When will that stop? My compulsive desire to eat, eat, eat?

Part of me believes I wanted the cookies so badly as a reward. Somewhere inside of me, an accomplishment deserves a food reward. The reason I say that is because over the weekend, family that I haven't seen in a while complemented me on my weight. Of course it felt great. On Monday, my Mom said, "I can't believe how big your pants are on you, they are practically falling off, I bet you don't even have to unbutton or unzip them to put them on or take them off" Which, is true, and it feels good to have someone notice that but why does it trigger my desire to eat?

Hmmm, something to ponder....

Strength

2010-05-04T23:08:00.001-05:00

An eight letter word that we have used since elementary; possibly before then. When the word rolls off of your tongue, do you even think about it? It's an automatic word, not anything that requires a lot of thought, it is a word that has been etched in stone in our memory bank. Just another random word that we toss around on a regular basis.

Ask someone what strength means to them and trust me, you will get a different response from everyone. So I have to ask you, what exactly is strength?

Per the dictionary, strength is a noun with several definitions:

1. the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.
2. mental power, force, or vigor.
3. moral power, firmness, or courage.
4. power by reason of influence, authority, resources, numbers, etc.

That was just to name a few, there were actually 12 different definitions provided. Wow, this small word has so many meanings. As I sat there and gave it a little thought... something jumped out at me. Related Forms: SELF-STRENGTH.

WOW, that amazed me, how empowering. SELF-STRENGTH! Then as I read a little further, I saw it and my utmost attention was captured:

Strength, power, force, might suggest capacity to do something. Strength is inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist. Power is capacity to do work and to act. Force is the exercise of power: One has the power to do something. He exerts force when he does it. He has sufficient strength to complete it. Might is power or strength in a great or overwhelming degree: the might of an army.

Man, this is deep. THE POWER TO DO SOMETHING! TO MANIFEST ENERGY, TO ENDURE AND TO RESIST!

And it hits me. As I have set out to overcome obesity, I have found my self-strength. The power to do something. I have manifested energy to endure and resist temptations (which of course, some temptations have gotten the best of me) but I continue to move forward which will give me the sufficient strength to complete my goal! Yes, little ol me is full of self-powering strength.

In finding my strength I have also built muscle. I am capable of doing things physically that I can not believe but mentally, I am concurring obstacles and discovering just how strong I really am.

I realize that my body feels so good. My body loves to exercise, it responds to activity. I find it hard to sit in a movie now, I get so bored, sitting there. I want to get up and dance, I want to run, I want to jump, I want to play! My body wants to be active.

Don't get me wrong, there are those days that I struggle. I don't feel like getting up and moving, but I find the strength and I do it. Afterwards, my body thanks me. My body celebrates by losing inches, taking form and new shape. Although I am still very large, I see things changing and it amazes me. I push myself to new limits everyday. Today, I was able to jump rope for 225 sets. I was in complete awe of this accomplishment. To some, my victories may be minor but to a woman who was 330 pounds and smoked a pack and half of cigarettes a day merely 4 months ago, my victories are triumphant!

While my journey is no where near complete, I am proud to say that I have the PHYSICAL and MENTAL STRENGTH that is required to make it to the finish line.

I will not put myself down, I will not wish to be a "thin" person, I will not allow someone to rob me of my victories for I have STRENGTH!

Have you discovered yours?

April results are in

2010-05-03T14:42:00.001-05:00

01-01-2010
WEIGHT: 330 LB.
BUST: 55.00"
WAIST: 58.50"
ABDOMEN: 64.00"
HIPS: 65.00"
THIGHS: 34.00"
ARMS: 17.00"
BMI: 56.58
Body Fat Percent: Not measurable (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

02-01-2010
WEIGHT: 312 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (-1.50")
WAIST: 52.50" (-6.00")
ABDOMEN: 62.00" (-2.00")
HIPS: 61.50" (-3.50")
THIGHS: 33.25" (-1.50")
ARMS: 18.25" (+2.50")
BMI: 53.95 (-2.64)
Body Fat Percent: Over 50% (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

03-01-2010
WEIGHT: 292 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (same)
WAIST: 50.00" (-2.50")
ABDOMEN: 59.50" (-2.50")
HIPS: 60.50" (-1.00")
THIGHS: 33.25" (same)
ARMS: 18.25" (-1.50")
BMI: 51.80 (-2.15)
Body Fat Percent: 50% (Finally Measurable, Woo-Hoo)

03-31-2010
WEIGHT: 285 LB.
BUST: 51.50" (-1.00")
WAIST: 48.00" (-2.00")
ABDOMEN: 59.00" (-0.50")
HIPS: 58.50" (-2.00")
THIGHS: 33.25" (same)
ARMS: 16.50" (-1.75")
BMI: 50.80 (-1.00)
Body Fat Percent: 49.10% (-0.90%)

04-30-2010
WEIGHT: 278 LB.
BUST: 51.50" (-0.00")
WAIST: 48.00" (-0.00")
ABDOMEN: 57.50" (-1.50")
HIPS: 57.50" (-1.00")
THIGHS: 33.00" (-0.50")
ARMS: 16.00" (-0.50")
BMI: 48.94 (-1.86)
Body Fat Percent: 48.30% (-0.80%)

TOTAL RESULTS:
YTD WEIGHT LOST: 52 POUNDS
YTD INCHES LOST: 30.00 INCHES
YTD BMI LOST: 7.65
Body Fat Percent: 1.70%

My APRIL Goals were:
1) Walk 30 miles .... Actually Walked 40.5
2) Cycle 20 miles.... Actually Biked 43.85
3) Work out at Curves at least 16 times ... Actually worked out 10 times
4) Lose 10 pounds ... Actually Lost 7 pounds (TOM is here)

May Goals:
1) Walk 30 miles
2) Cycle 30 miles
3) Kettlebell 5 days a week
4) Curves 16 times

Overall, April was a good month. The oral surgery slowed me down but kettlebell caught me up! Seriously, this is one great workout. I am very eager to see my inches lost in May. My goal is to do a kettlebell workout 5 days a week, so we should see inches just melt away, atleast I hope :) (very huge grin)!!!

So, Friday was my son's 14th birthday and some how or another, the celebration lasted all weekend! I must have eaten atleast half of the 1/4 sheet cake (oh my)! I paid for it on Sunday, we went on a 7 mile hike and it was brutal. It's amazing what sugar and fat does to the body. I must admit, in the past, this last weekend would have ruined me, one slip up, one mistake, it would be over. Now the new me, HA, just laughs, I am no where near doneso this journey continues. Yes, I did it, ate almost an entire cake by myself but I am not giving up. Was it compulsive, yes.... was it smart, no.... did it taste good, yes....was it good for me, no.... did it hurt my stomach, yes.... was it the end of my journey, NO!

So the celebration is over and thank goodness the cake is gone, it is time to get back on track. I could spend countless hours or days regretting what happened this weekend, but I will not spend another ounce of energy thinking about it. I will keep moving and keep going. Not only is it a new day, we are walking into a new month! What a perfect time to refocus and regroup. I am ready to push myself a little further and learn something new about me!

Here's to a healthy active May!

You know how snap happy I am, so here are a few pics from Sunday's hike

Where out thou straps?

2010-04-28T08:57:00.005-05:00

Fanny Pack
Fanny Pack
Fanny Pack
Where out thou straps

I want to take you off
and trust me you'd be tossed

The bulge in my belly
look'n like a pouch
got even bigger
from sitting on the couch

I'm finally up and moving
exercising round town
for some strange reason
I can't put you down

I've considered cutting you off
atleast a hundred times
you've grown so attached
where are those straps?

I guess it is possible
I ate too many treats
I'd like to return you
Where is my receipt?

Non-Refundable....
is that what they say?
I am here to tell you
Your CAN'T stay

Attached to my gut
lookin like a butt
You really gotta go
I'm the boss of this show

~ 330 Pound Woman

I have to admit, this poem was inspired by Teeny Bikini's blog: Dear Water Weight. I read it this morning and laughed. As I wrote a comment on her blog: "Love your honesty and perspective! What about the poem titled: Apron oh Apron, where out thou strings? LOL, I just can't get this stomach apron off... geez, I wish it came with a receipt but it seems to be non-refundable! Ugh!"

At that moment, I realized that I'd be writing my own blog and before I knew it, the apron was Fanny Pack which seems so much more appropriate!

I have lost 50 pounds, year to date, and yes, my pouch has gotten a little smaller but it is still there. A time or two, I considered doing my own tummy tuck, I thought if I did it in the hospital parking lot, I'd be close enough they could save me... Of course, it was just a small thought, I didn't actually go out and buy any medical supplies or anything. LOL!

The other day when my son and I were out walking, he said "Mom, I just realized your gonna be short and skinny" Of course, my response "Opposed to short and fat?" We both laughed, and he said, it was just gonna be different because I will be so tiny. He then says "Well, I hope you don't have all that extra skin!" Wow, that was a surprise, a 13 year old thinking about extra skin. I explained that I will probably have extra skin because I was so overweight but not to worry, I will tuck it in my pants. For the mean time son, just let me get to the extra skin and I will deal with that then.

So, I realize, even once I lose weight that fanny pack might still be hanging around (literally)... before, I couldn't deal with that, today I can. When I began this journey, it was about being healthy and well... a little extra skin never hurt anyone. Seriously, we've all heard the stories how the pocket protector saved someones life, so you never know, the extra skin may just come in handy one day! LOL!

What I have come to realize is that loving yourself includes loving your body. I accept my body, I see it changing and that pleases me. It will never be perfect but it is mine, the body that the Lord blessed me with. I am so greatful that it is healthy and capable of so many things.

With that being said, I will continue to workout and strength train to help tone my body as much as possible. I can already see a difference in my thighs, my love handles and my bum... but my arms, oh man... they need some work!

Recently, another SPARK Member told me about Kettlebell exercises. After doing a little research and taking a trip to Walmart, I am know a Kettlebell owner! Let me just say, "WOW, what a work out!" If anything can help me tone and shrink, it will be my new found ruler, King Kettlebell.

I purchased it on Monday, and have worked out with it twice, today will be the third time. I am sore in my arms, upper thighs, glutes, hamstrings, obliques... oh yea baby, that is what I am talking about! I just might find those straps after all!

No matter how you look at it...

2010-04-26T20:31:00.007-05:00

Chinese: 五

Dutch: Vijftig

French: Cinquante

German: Fünfzig

Filipino: Limampu

Indonesian: Limapuluh

Irish: Caoga

Italian: Cinquanta

Japanese: 五十

Korean: 오십

Norwegian: Femti

Portuguese: Cinqüenta

Spanish: Cincuenta

Swahili: Hamsini

Swedish: Femtio

Turkish: Elli

Vietnamese: Năm mươi

English: Fifty

No matter what language, Fifty is Fifty and today my friends, I can say that I have lost FIFTY POUNDS! WOO-HOO! This monumental loss actually happened last Friday :) I went out of town over the weekend and wanted to make sure I didn't gain any of the weight back before the big debut! This morning, I am still FIFTY POUNDS DOWN! OH YEA BABY!

I have never lost anything remotely close to 50 pounds, well 35 but come one, 50 pounds is actually a small bale of hay or 200 Sticks of butter! OH My Gosh! Yea that's right, 200 sticks of butter baby, oh man! Another way of looking at it is an Elephant's Heart, a Chihuahua and a Guinea Pig! What? Yea that's me, dropping butter, animals and all kinds of stuff! Especially, low self esteem, it is headed out of the window! I don't constantly find myself needing to explain my 'fatness' to the world, I am an athlete now!

On my way home from out of town, I stopped at an outlet mall. Normally, I could have gotten in some serious retail fitness but I went to one store and one store only. I walked strait into Addidas and bought some new workout gear. It didn't matter to me if my outfit fit or not, I was going home with a new outfit that I was going to wear it in the near future. I picked up two pair of workout pants and two tanks with built in bras. I grabbed the largest sizes, XXL and headed to the register. Not only did I get a great deal ($43), I really couldn't wait to get home and try them on (big girl workout gear is not easy to come by). And you know, as soon as I got home, I tried them on, oh my goodnees, they fit, perfectly! I was so excited I just couldn't wait to workout!

This morning, I headed to the gym. I didn't ride my bike because I knew, I'd be weighing in as soon as I got there. I step on the scale and WHAT... 50 pounds gone for good! My workout was incredible, I broke a great sweat! I just couldn't shake the idea of finding out exactly what Fifty pounds looked like off of my body. Where can I find fifty pounds of something? Hmmm.... off to Walmart I go.

I found fifty pounds allright, right there in the dog food aisle! Boy that is one big bag of food! I pick it up, WOWZERS, 50 Pounds is A LOT of weight! I see an innocent shopper; of course, I stopped her. I had to get a picture of what fifty pounds really looked like, a reminder of what would never be again! I picked up that 50 pounds and throw it over my head like nothing, yea that's right! Oh man, I am so glad that I am not carrying that around anymore!

Bye Bye 50 Pounds, all though we have been friends for many many years, I will not miss you at all!

Today I discovered...

2010-04-21T20:27:00.000-05:00

Just a few short months ago, I weighed 330 Pounds. Yes, my little 5'3" frame was carrying around 330 pounds. Today, I am so glad to say that I am 48 pounds lighter... I weigh in at 282 pounds (hoping it is less, but I won't weigh in until this Friday). It is amazing what losing 48 pounds can do. Yes, I am still morbidly obese but I believe I am in the best shape of my adult life! It is incredible. Today, I find that:

I get bored just sitting around
I am full of energy
I enjoy being outdoors
I don't ask my son to grab things for me as much anymore
I no longer plan my grocery trips around someone being home to carry in the groceries
I can ride my bike for 5 miles strait, what?!?!
I can hike 10 miles, woot-woot!
I find reasons to go outside
I actually like riding my bike
I enjoy breaking a good sweat
I know I will lose the weight once and for all

and I FINALLY have a reason for all of my tennis shoes!

Can you believe it? A woman having a reason for shoes, other than love?!? Well, let me tell you, at 330 pounds, shoes were are all about comfort! I have beautiful gorgeous shoes that haven't seen the light of day in years. I simply could not carry my weight on them. I had honestly, all but given up on ever wearing any of these sexy stilettos again. Everything I put on my feet was about finding comfort. It was next to impossible to find something my feet could handle. In the end, it was tennis shoes. Even then, it was hard.

Over the years, I collected several pairs, I would basically wear a pair until they were worn out. Being so overweight, it happened sooner than later.

What I realized today, is that I actually have a reason for my many tennis shoes... how exciting. I am so active I need tennis shoes! Woo-Hoo! I know this may not seem like a huge feat but to me, its AMAZING! I finally have a reason for grabbing my tennies that doesn't evolve around achy feet in 8 hours. Don't get me wrong, comfort is key but I actually pick a specific shoe for certain activities now. Yea that's right, I am active enough to need more than one pair of tennies! Oh boy, oh boy, I love needing more than one pair!

Sketchers Walking Shoes, LOVE these shoes! If you invest in these, watch the instruction DVD before wearing! Seriously!

My workout and bike shoes

My Dance shoes for Zumba and Hip Hop Abs

My hiking and trail shoes, look at the miles on those babies

After a few more months of grabbing my tennies, I will be dusting off my sexy stilettos! Can I get a woot-woot!

A little rain never hurt anyone

2010-04-18T23:06:00.002-05:00

I remember when a rainy day meant, staying inside curled up on the couch, a movie marathon... an actual excuse to stay indoors all weekend and not feel to guilty about it. That was the old me, the new me, the girl that has the beaming athlete inside, just couldn't do it. I was ancy, needed to get out of the house. Earlier, my son and I popped in a DVD but before you know it, both of us were ready to get somewhere.

Outside, it was overcast but tempature wise, it was incredible. It had been drizzling all morning off and on but it hadn't poured. I decided to do a little research and found a nature center right around the corner from me. WHAT?!?!?!? How was this place here for all of these years? Literally, I must have driven by it atleast 100 times ... a little piece of nature in the middle of the city. I asked my son if he'd like to take a hike and he was ready to go. We grab our backpack and head out the door, 15 minutes later, we were walking into a gorgeous piece of country that was just tucked away in the city.

There was a little drizzle but hey, when did rain ever hurt anyone? The first thing we see

You might not of read the sign but the thing that jumped out at us was the snake warning, POISONOUS SNAKES! Now, I know, snakes are everywhere, especially in the great outdoors but I have to admit, when its pointed out, you really become aware. We decided, we would use caution but that sign wouldn't hinder us, we put on our smiles and off we go.

We find a map and pick a trail, Fossil Valley, it's a mile and half trail (level difficult) that will take us the pond which we can walk another two miles around.

We using caution but were ready to go, off into the trail... oh look another sign...

Okay, this time its in red... boy oh boy, good thing I dont have herpetophobia... it's a little creepy seing ANOTHER sign! Smiles on, feet moving, onward we go.

Oh wait, hold up, third times a charm...

Clearly were on alert now, three signs, there must be a reason that there are three signs! Honestly, we have only walked 100 feet or so. This was the wrong day to forget your walking stick. My son won't even think about getting off the path to find us on. He kindly reminds me that there are POISONOUS snakes out there and there ain't no way he is getting off the path! My son decides to ask: "have you ever been biten by a snake?" What, are you serious??? "NO, I have not been biten by a snake and I hope it stays like that!" Geez, don't ask me something like that, not now... come on son, don't let the signs get to you... just keep going and have a good time. Mind over matter. I chuckle as I notice, he is not walking off the beaten path, on the trail he stays and the he tells me he is so glad that he decided to wear his hiking boots today, his ankles are protected. Okay, all the signs, all the talk, I am getting a little spooked, we gotta change the subject! We begin to appreciate the view.. what a gorgeous trail were on. It's still drizzling outside. A few months ago, there is no way that I would be walking in the rain, much less hiking! It's amazing how much has changed, I am so happy

We keep moving further along the trail and really begin to enjoy each others company, I have a little slip and fall

I wasn't hurt, I just had major dirty drawers...

My son and I laughed and keep on going

We finally feel like we are getting close and oh man...

It happens sometimes, no worries, we found another trail to have some fun on

my son even found a tree to meditate in

a guide for animal tracks (we didn't find any this time with all the rain)

When it was all said and done, we were wet, full of mud and had lots of fun!

Shrimp Cocktail: 225 Calories, 8g Fat

2010-04-17T10:22:00.004-05:00

Delicious treat that takes you to the streets of Mexico. Full of flavor and the perfect hint of cilantro, enjoy this treat as an appetizer or a main course.

Ingredients
2 1/2 cup Thawed frozen precooked shrimp
1 1/2 cup Heinz Ketchup
6 Medium Tomatoes (dice)
1/2 Red Onion (thinly dice)
1/2 White Onion (thinly dice)
5 Fresh Jalapeno Peppers (de-seed and dice)
1/2 cup Cilantro Leaves (dice)
1 Lime (juice only)
2 tbsp hot sauce (like Tabasco)
1 tsp garlic powder or 1 pressed garlic clove
2 avocados

Directions
1.Thaw frozen prepared salad shrimp, once thawed, place 2 1/2 cups of shrimp to the side (the remaining shrimp will not be used in this recipe).

2.Dice 5 Medium Tomatoes and place in large bowl. Thinly dice 1/2 of red onion, place in bow. Thinly dice white onion, place in bowl. De seed 5 Jalapeno Peppers, dice thinly, place in bowl. Chop 1/2 cup cilantro leaves, place in bowl. Squeeze the juice of one lime into mixture. Add Shrimp, 1 1/2 cup Heinz tomatoe ketchup, 2 tbsp hot sauce (like Tabasco), 1 tsp garlic powder or press one garlic glove, add a few dashes of sea salt and mix well.

3.This treat can be enjoyed immediately or to enjoy robust flavor, place mixture in fridge for 3 hours. Before serving remove seed and dice 2 avocados, place in shrimp cocktail, stir and ENJOY!

This recipe is great with tortilla chips or saltine crackers. If you like yours a little more soupy, add 1/2 cup clamato juice (tomato/clam juice or 1/2 cup spicy V8)

Servings: 8
Calories: 225
Fat Cal: 76
Fat: 8.45g
Carb: 25.32g
Fiber: 6.00g
Protein:16.15g
Weight Watcher: Approx 4 PTS

*Calories can be reduced significantly without using Avocados. If the recipe is prepared without Avocados the calorie content would change to: CAL: 144, FAT CAL: 10, Tot Fat 1g, Carb 21g, Fiber 2.6g, Protein 15.15g

All Choked Up

2010-04-14T23:06:00.010-05:00

In so many ways! The first one is a little off subject but I want to share. Have you ever seen anything so gross, you just have to ask someone else to look at it? You know, when you smell something spoiled and your compelled to ask someone else to come and smell it, knowing it almost made you pass out? Okay... well this is just like that, so those weak stomachs... STOP NOW! For those of you who against your better judgement, smell it or take a look... keep reading!

Okay, I've been having this issue: my shower does not drain. I had my house built 3 years ago, and well, it never seemed to drain very well. Over the last few years, it has gotten worse and I have tried it all... plunging and plunging like a mad woman! I even bought this special plunger that was just for tubs but to no avail, nothing, it didn't work. I have to admit, after plunging for an hour here and there, it would drain a little better but before you know it, 45 minutes for the tub to drain. I have tried time after time to take the drain cover off but I couldn't. Who ever heard of a drain cover that doesn't come off? So, when the water chokes up, I grab for the special plunger. The other day, it was even worse. It took 4 hours, yes... you read that right, 4 freaking hours for my tub drain! Enough is enough. I decided, something had to be done. I was dead set on getting that drain cover off, after several straining hours (slight exaggeration) I finally saw it, underneath the drain cover there was a screw! OMG, that is it? Countless hours spent testing the lefty losey righty tighty technique and all I needed was a phillips head screw driver? Off to the tool box I go; and before you know it... it's off, 3 years of fighting with this and all I needed was a screw driver?!?!? All you can do is laugh. So, the drain cover is off and OH MY GOSH! What I see, is unbelievable, I don't see anything but hairball, is that from my head? The builders must have showered in tub before I moved in and I must say, they must have been some hairy people, there is no way that all came from my head. I tried to pull the hairball out but oh no, it was not moving... back to the tools and after about 25 minutes, it was out... oh yea... here it is

You know, we always take a second look... so here it is! Yes, those were the tools I used, hey, woman are creative, whatever it takes to get the job done!

Well, the drain works better than ever! Its like a dream, it almost sounds like there is a person in my pipes with a water vac, sucking the water down the drain. I took a nice bubble bath afterwords and my water was literally drained completely by the time I stepped out, threw on my robe and opened the bathroom door... unbelievable!

All right, enough of that. Now down to business... no stomach advisories here! As many of you know, I wasn't able to work out because of medical issues, I have been eating healthy but I haven't been tracking what I was eating. I was so worried. This morning, I went to the gym and oh my gosh, I have lost 3 pounds! Yes, 3 whole pounds. Obviously, working out takes it to the next level but the fact I didn't gain and I actually lost. I must admit, I was so worried that I had gained and I didn't, WOO-HOO! So... with the 3 pounds that takes me to a loss of 48 pounds!!! Yes 48 LBS, I can't believe I am only 2 pounds away from losing 50 pounds! I nearly cried, thus, I was all choked up! I am just so excited and pleased with myself. I feel so proud. This of course, helped kick that strange wacky feeling out the window (I have been feeling out of whack because of not exercising and tracking). After I came home from the gym, I rode my bike for 2.5 miles and when my son came home from school, we took the dogs to the park and walked 2 miles. I just felt on top of the world. Now, I have to admit, I was really sore tonight, I am pretty sure it was from the gardening I did yesterday (two hours with about 45 minutes of hard core shoveling) or the 8 mile hike on Sunday. I am pretty sure it was the shoveling, my shoulders, back and abs are killing me! Gardening is no joke! I wish I had a green thumb, I'd like to plant a garden but first I must tackle the stickers in my yard, UGH! Just thinking of it, what a head ache!

Anyhow... here are a few pics from our hike on Sunday:

Not to be redundant, but did I mention that I am only TWO itty bitty pounds away from losing 50 Pounds? Oh, I think I did! And if your wondering, YES, I am still All Choked Up, I am almost 50 pounds lighter!!!! YIPPEE!

Magical Disappearing Act

2010-04-12T22:23:00.001-05:00

Where do I begin? It seems as though it has been ages since I have blogged or SPARKED. I feel off balance, like I am missing something. The good news is that I haven't fallen off the deep end or even off the wagon, life has been crazy lately. So to clear the air, I am still working towards my goals but I definitely need to re-center myself.

As many of you know, my journey began in January with a desire to overcome obesity. I didn't know how I would do it, I just knew I wanted to do something to become healthier and I was going to blog all about it. As I began, I hadn't committed to anything other than blogging and as the days and weeks went on, I realized that the changes I was making in my life were lifestyle changes, no quick fixes, just good old fashioned healthy eating and exercise, I took off and soar. I have learned so many things about myself that I would have never imagined possible. If anyone in their right mind would have told me that in 3 months time that I could tackle a 10 mile hike or a 5 mile bike ride, I would have laughed in their face but today, I know it is possible. One of the biggest turning points for me was realizing that my journey to overcome obesity is all about me, putting myself first, taking control of my health and embracing change and the unknown. I jumped in feet first and didn't look back (thanks to support of my blog supporters and my SPARK friends, love you guys!)

Everything has been going great but slowly, I found myself getting further from SPARK and my blog. It started last month, between going out of town, Spring Break, my nephew being stabbed, emergency oral surgeries (which, I haven't mentioned it, but I will be having two more surgeries over then next two weeks, UGH!) well, Life, it happens and well, you have to deal with it.

With everything going on, I haven't been online, I haven't tracked my food and I haven't been able to workout due to Dr's orders and well, sutures in my mouth. On Sunday, I was finally able to get out and enjoy a great 8 mile hike with my girlfriend (thanks Rai, loved it) and that really helped!!! It felt so good to get out and do something not to mention, it relieved some major stress :) I am so ready to hit the gym again and get back on track with my exercise. The bad news, is it will be awhile, I have a few more surgeries and I know, I will have to take things very slowly.

The good news is that I realize, putting my health first also means, following the Dr's orders and well, taking care of my dental issues is part of putting my health first. So things will slow down for a while but overall, I still am making good choices, I am eating healthy and I recognize, this is not the end, my healthy lifestyle continues, I am just driving through a school zone right now.... taking things slow.

I spent sometime reflecting and I recognized that I was spending so much of my time tracking calories, exercising, SPARKING; and blogging that honestly, stopping for a few days was almost like vacation but now it has been almost two weeks which could easily turn to 3 and even 4 or 5. I can't let that happen. I honestly realize that I feel completely off balance: my energy levels are different, my state of mind, my stress levels... its just out of wack. In this, I realize, I really am making a lifestyle change because I do feel off. That is saying something, my body wants physical activity... I am really in the middle of making a lifestyle change.

I am going in on Wednesday for another surgery and then next week I will have my final surgery (I HOPE, cross your fingers) so I know I will continue to be limited on what I can do over the next 2 or 3 weeks. What I do commit to doing is going back to the basics, counting calories, tracking EVERYTHING, and getting in atleast 10 minutes of activity a day which for now, it will probably be just walking but as I tell others, every little step counts!

I shared this with my girlfriend this weekend and she said something, "Shit happens but at the end of the day, you still have goals that you are working towards, so what are you going to do?"

So, its the end of the day and my health is still my priority. This is not a gimmick, this is my life and my health, I am in this for the long run no matter what obstacles may come my way. 2010 is my year and I am rock'n it!

330 VS 285 Whats it look like

2010-04-06T06:32:00.007-05:00

So, here it goes, one more time... so scary to look at but what a great reminder of what I never want to look like again

Yep, that was me, just a little over 3 month's ago. 330 Pounds and miserable, I could barely breath, could not bend over with out feeling like I was being cut in half and was unable to paint my own toenails.

Now just 3 months later

I weigh 285 pounds! WOW, not only have I lost 45 pounds but I have lost 26.5 inches! OH MY GOSH! It has finally hit me. I have lost 45 pounds in just 3 months. I know it will not continue to just melt away, especially since things have been so crazy of late, but the other night I was laying in bed and began to calculate it, I really can hit my goal weight of 135 by next summer. Yes, I still have 150 pounds to lose but if I continue to work hard, it can happen. There are 15 months until July 2011 and if I lose just 10 pounds a month, it can seriously happen. When I realized it, I had this grin from ear to ear, I jumped up and down on my bed, I felt like the kid at a candy store or finding my favorite toy in the world under the Christmas tree, it was just amazing. I am a strong woman and I CAN do this! Literally, I am extactic! Writing about it, makes me feel it all over again, I can't stop smiling! Just knowing that I can actually lose the weight and hit my goal, I don't have to imagine it, wish it, hope it, dream it, this time I am doing it!

Here's a little piece of motivation to help keep the fire burning

This is my virtual model at 135 pounds! Pretty cute, huh? So, I know at 135 pounds, I won't look exactly like this but trust me, it sure is fun playing dress up and a visual helps! For anyone who would like to try this, just check out at www.mvm.com

What is even better than playing dress up with my virtual model? Knowing I will reach my goal once and for all!

Week 12 results - Slowly but Surely

2010-03-31T22:38:00.003-05:00

Things slowed down in March but I am still moving in the right direction. Had a few hiccups this month, eating out, chips and salsa, mexican food, ice cream sundae... the good neews, is that nothing was done in excess, didn't go crazy, didn't lose it, and most importantly I kept moving. This last week, I didnt make it to the gym much however, I kept walking so that is a good thing. So let's take a look:

01-01-2010
WEIGHT: 330 LB.
BUST: 55.00"
WAIST: 58.50"
ABDOMEN: 64.00"
HIPS: 65.00"
THIGHS: 34.00"
ARMS: 17.00"
BMI: 56.58
Body Fat Percent: Not measurable (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

02-01-2010
WEIGHT: 312 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (-1.50")
WAIST: 52.50" (-6.00")
ABDOMEN: 62.00" (-2.00")
HIPS: 61.50" (-3.50")
THIGHS: 33.25" (-1.50")
ARMS: 18.25" (+2.50")
BMI: 53.95 (-2.64)
Body Fat Percent: Over 50% (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

03-01-2010
WEIGHT: 292 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (same)
WAIST: 50.00" (-2.50")
ABDOMEN: 59.50" (-2.50")
HIPS: 60.50" (-1.00")
THIGHS: 33.25" (same)
ARMS: 18.25" (-1.50")
BMI: 51.80 (-2.15)
Body Fat Percent: 50% (Finally Measurable, Woo-Hoo)

03-31-2010
WEIGHT: 285 LB.
BUST: 51.50" (-1.00")
WAIST: 48.00" (-2.00")
ABDOMEN: 59.00" (-0.50")
HIPS: 58.50" (-2.00")
THIGHS: 33.25" (same)
ARMS: 16.50" (-1.75")
BMI: 50.80 (-1.00)
Body Fat Percent: 49.10% (-0.90%)

TOTAL RESULTS:
YTD WEIGHT LOST: 45 POUNDS
YTD INCHES LOST: 26.50 INCHES
YTD BMI LOST: 5.79

MAR WEIGHT LOST: 7 POUNDS
MAR INCHES LOST: 7.25 INCHES
MAR BMI LOST: 1.0
Body Fat Percent: .90%

My Goals in March were:
1) Walk 40 miles (walked 37, YTD: 84.5)
2) Cycle 15 miles (cycled 16, YTD: 18.5)
3) Lose 10 pounds (lost 7)
4) Work out at Curves 20 times (14)

Goals for APRIL:
1) Walk 30 miles
2) Cycle 20 miles
3) Work out at Curves at least 16 times
4) Lose 10 pounds

What I learned in March:
1) I need exercise
2) My body craves HEALTHY foods
3) I like riding my bike
4) Fast Food is not what I thought it was, my body doesn't wan't grease!
5) One Meal at a time, One Day at a time
6) Moderation is KEY
7) Emergencies can only derail your goals if you let them

Ham & Cheese Grilled Potatoes 162 Calories, 2.1g Fat

2010-03-26T20:46:00.003-05:00

Spring is here and more people will find ways to spend time outside and cook their favorite dishes on the grill. Well, let me tell you... this recipe is a must have this spring and summer. Who said the days of eat potatoes covered in cheese and meat were over?

"YUMMY" is exactly what my taste buds hollered when I enjoyed my first bite of these deliciously grilled potatoes with onions, ham; and then smothered in cheese. These potatoes are simply scrumptious, what a delicious side or even a great lunch item. These potatoes are low in fat, full of healthy carbs and loaded in protein. So Folks, get your grills ready, this recipe will make you say YUM!

Ingredients
30 Fingerling Potatoes
18 Slices of Oscar Mayer Smoked Ham
1 Large Yellow Onion
1/2 Cup Kraft Fat Free Cheddar Cheese
1/2 Cup Kraft Fat Free Mozzarella Cheese
1 tbsp Sea Salt
1 tbsp Coarse Black Pepper
1 tbsp Olive Oil

Directions
1.Wash approx 30 potatoes, dice into round circles. Chop onion. Dice 18 pieces of Oscar Mayer Shaved Smoked Ham. Place all items in large bowl, add 1 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp sea salt, 1 tbsp coarse black pepper. Mix well.

2.Place large piece of foil on counter, spray center with non stick butter flavored cooking spray. Place potato mixture in center of foil. Spray top of potatoes with butter flavored non-stick spray, place another piece of foil (same size as first piece) on top of potatoes, fold edges to create sealed pouch. Place on top shelf of grill over medium heat, grill approx 18 minutes, possibly 20-22 depending on grill/heat.

3.Remove pouch from grill, cut open top of foil. Serve each guest 3/4 cup of potatoes and sprinkle 1 tbsp of fat free cheddar and 1 tbsp of fat free mozzarella and ENJOY! Serves 8

We enjoyed these potatoes with a grilled pork loin that was loaded in juicy flavors and with a colorful salad on the side. Everyone at our table gave these potatoes TWO THUMBS UP!

Now, here's the skinny:

8 SERVINGS (approx 3/4 cup each)
162 Calories
2.10g Fat
25.91g Carbs
3.50g Fiber
10.38g Protein

Weight Watcher: Approx 3 PTS

Basil Chicken Primavera with Alfredo Sauce 339 Calories, 9.95g Fat

2010-03-23T22:04:00.003-05:00

Delicious Garlic and Basil Chicken with assorted vegetables in a rich Alfredo sauce covering whole wheat pasta. YUM YUM Good!

Ingredients

16 Asparagus Spears
5 Carrots
1 Green Bell Pepper
1 Red Bell Pepper
1 Medium Onion
1 Pound Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast
2 Garlic Cloves
2 tbsps Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/4 Cup Classico Traditional Basil Pesto
1/2 Cup Classico Roasted Red Pepper Alfredo

Directions

1.Clean and cut 16 Asparagus Spears into 1 inch pieces. Clean, peel and slice 5 Medium Carrots. Clean, seed and dice 1 Red Bell Pepper and 1 Green Bell Pepper. Thinly slice one medium onion. Thinly slice 1 LB of Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast.

2.Cook Whole Wheat Pasta as indicated on box.

3.Place 1 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil and 2 tbsp of Classico Traditional Basil Pesto in large skillet over medium heat, add asparagus and carrots, stir well, cover with lid and cook for 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove lid, add red/green bell pepper, cook an additional 5 minutes, add onion and cook until onion is transparent. Now pour vegetables in a large bowl.

4.In the same pan, add 1 tbsp olive oil and 2 tbsp Classico Traditional Basil Pesto Sauce, grate two garlic cloves and add chicken, cook completely. When chicken done, add vegetables back to pan, add 1/2 cup Classico Roasted Red Pepper Alfredo Sauce, stir well and heat thoroughly.

Makes 8 servings of approx 1 cup pasta and 1 cup chicken/vegetables mixture. ENJOY!

Here's the skinny:

Calories: 339
Fat Grams: 9.95g
Carbs: 45.66g
Fiber: 7.80g
Protein: 19.68g

Weight Watcher Points: Approx 7 PTS

Celebrate the Little Things

2010-03-22T22:03:00.005-05:00

I have to admit, I have been a little disappointed in my scale numbers this month. Mind you, in January, I lost 18 pounds and in February, I lost another 20 pounds. So far this month, I have only lost 5 pounds. Realistically, 5 pounds is great but after such big numbers, it seems like nothing, that damn scale envy girl is just not satisfied with 5. I knew I would not be able to maintain such large numbers forever but I was just hoping it wouldn't slow down until after 100 pounds, go figure! My actual goal is to lose 10 pounds a month, so if by some crazy chance that I can lose 5 pounds between now and next Thursday... I will have hit my goal, so keep your fingers crossed!

After reflecting, I can say that I am still tracking everything I eat, I am exercising and for the most part, making very healthy food choices. I did eat a cupcake on St. Patty's Day but I am completely okay with that. I didn't feel a bit of remorse or guilt, moderation is key and I only had one. Its amazing to realize that I have taken back the power in the food battle, I choose what to eat, food does not control me.

Last week, my son and I went to eat, we went to CiCi's Pizza (his choice of course) it was spring break and well, it had been forever so why not. It was funny, neither of us enjoyed it. My son asked "Mom what is happening to us, this food is gross, my stomach hurts and it is making me sleepy!" I felt exactly the same way. The food was terrible, I enjoyed the salad bar more than anything! The food did make us feel sluggish and well, crummy. It didn't do anything at all for us nutritionally. Instead of going home and planting ourselves on the couch, we decided to go back to the park and walked another 1.5 miles (we walked 1.5 early that day). This time, we walked along the waters edge and looked for bugs, wild onions and had a sword fight with sticks in the woods. It felt great. And at the end of the day, I was still within my calorie range, I was very pleased. I am thrilled to realize, there is balance and that my body doesn't crave the same JUNK it did before, my body is beginning to demand fuel to keep me going and empty calories loaded with preservatives, sodium and fat just don't cut it anymore.

This weekend, I decided I wanted to buy a new shirt and I was thrilled that I fit very nicely into a Size 22! It is close to being a little big, so I thought, can I wear an 18??? No, no way... but I humored myself. I grab an 18 and headed back to the dressing room... off the hanger, over my head, my arms are in, over my breast, what its over my breast?!?!?! and now over my stomach, it is on! WOW, an 18 is on my body, I haven't worn an 18 in gosh, who knows how long (too many years to count)! I did a little happy dance and jumped up and down. Now don't get me wrong, the 18 was snug, not as tight as spandex but not comfortable either. I could buy the 22 but for what, I know that it won't be long before I needed the 18 so I put the 22 back and bought the 18. My new Motivation Shirt, I can't wait to wear it! I am sure I will be able to wear it in another 10 to 15 pounds. Momma is gonna be stylin and profilin!

So instead of beating myself up because of that number on the scale and turning to food in disappointment, I will celebrate what I have accomplished this year:

- Lost 43 Pounds
- Down 19.5 inches (as of 03/01/2010)
- 150,500 Fat Calories Gone FOREVER, WOO-HOO
- I am at 22% of my Goal Weight
- I've lost a Mid Size Microwave, Sack of Sugar and a human brain
- I am only 1 pound away from losing an Elephants Heart
- I am wearing size 24 pants (was 26/28)
- I am wearing size 22 shirts (was 26/28)
- I can ride my bike for 3 miles strait
- I can hike 9 miles
- I LOVE the OUTDOORS
- I have so much more energy
- I haven't smoked in 11 weeks YIPPEE!
- I don't binge
- I am going out and having fun, discovering what I like and don't like
- I dance again!

And most importantly, there is LIFE other than FOOD! So, even if that scale doesn't move another pound this month, I am a SUCCESS, I am stronger everyday and I am proud of me! I CAN and I AM Doing this for once and for all! Momma always said, celebrate the little things!

The SPARK Outdoor Adventure

2010-03-18T09:42:00.002-05:00

I am a member of the SPARK Done Girl Team, about a month ago, I got word that there would be a Mini Convention held at Devil's Den State Park in Arkansas. I have been living on a SPARK high since I joined in January so naturally, I couldn't wait to go. I was a little unsure if I should go by myself, I was laid off from work in November, I don't have a huge budget and well... meeting complete strangers in the woods... sounds like a good beginning to a horror movie. I pick up the phone and call my BFF, she is in! Yippee We decide to drive from TX to AR.

Our big travel day finally arrives, I head off to Wally World to pick up all of our camping supplies, food, you know, all the good stuff. When she picks me up, we load down the SUV and my brother realizes, we are headed to the woods with complete strangers. He offers to send us off into the woods with one of his BIG guns to be on the safe side, we decided to stick with the power of two and well, the mace in our purse! We hit the open road, we have a 5.5 mile drive ahead of us. Liz and I have been best friends for at least 18 years so needless to say our ride was great! We need no music to keep us entertained, we chit-chat up on the latest going on with the two of us, laugh, share old and new memories, there is just never a dull moment with the two of us. After about 3.5 hours, we stop at a Subway in a small country town in Oklahoma, we decided to go inside to eat. For a small town, this place was packed. We order and find a nice seat, as we eat, were chatting away, laughing and enjoying each others company, before you know it, we hear someone clearing their throat very loudly... we look up and an employee is standing by the door, all of the chairs except our table are on the table tops, the floor has been swept and mopped and the employee is standing at the door with a stern look. "Are you closed," I asked, "Yea, 20 minutes ago!" We quickly gather our things and head for a refill, the taps have already been taken off the fountain machine, no refills tonight, oh my.... us girls were so busy laughing and giggling we didn't even realize we shut the Subway down, after another good giggle, were out the door and on the road again.

We finally make it through Oklahoma and enter Arkansas, we are getting so close. Along the way, we find several places we want to stop on the way home and act like tourist. EXIT 45, that's us! We head off the highway and the road begins to curve and turn, there are deers everywhere. We finally arrive at 1:00AM, it's pitch dark outside, we hear water running nearby, we thing there might be a waterfall. The BIG gun my brother offered, seemed like a real good idea about right now. As we go for the mace in our purse, there is creek, a door opens; there is a very small light and then we hear it, lots of laughter... whew, it's the girls and we feel a little more comfortable. Neither one of us can wait until morning, we are so ready to explore and see the beautiful scenery in daylight. The girls help us take our things up the cabin and show us to our room. WOW, the cabin is gorgeous. After putting our things away, we introduce ourselves to the girls. Everyone is having a great time and we join the fun. We throw on some music and dance the rest of the night away.

In the morning, we enjoyed coffee and a nice high protein breakfast (hey, this is my kind of girls) and we are so read to hit the trails! Some of the girls were still sleeping and getting ready so my BFF and I decide to take a little adventure, we let the girls know we would be back in a bit, grab a water and a bag of pistachio's and head out to find the running water we heard last night. Being picture happy, we snap a picture of the two of us

and our adventure begins... I say adventure because oh boy, it's a good one!

We come to a beautiful bridge

We climb on rocks and find walking sticks

I break my stick jumping off that rock and we both decide, no more Wonder Woman stunts, this terrain is a little dangerous and if it weren't for the stick and the tree, I could have been in trouble!

Our breathe is taken away when we come across the beautiful waterfall

More rocks

The water is a beautiful blue green color

We see a bridge in the distance and decide to head that way (not the obvious one up front, the one in the back... he he he)

We make it to the bridge and cross the road

Out of nowhere, there is color, one beautiful flower just growing on the side of mountain

We come across a 3 Mile Trail: Yellow Rock; we decide, We CAN DO IT!

As we begin our journey, there are so many breath taking sights

A very cool tree

BUGS

Trickling Water

We begin to notice that everyone on the trail has some major hiking equipment, huge backpacks loaded with gear, flashlights, swiss army knives, matches, food, camel back water packs, hiking boots, layers of clothes... we finally ask someone and they said that was the recommended gear for this trail. All that for 3 miles??? Um our little "Go Green" Reusable Target bag (which was somehow named Retro by this point), two water bottles and pistachios might not be enough for this trail. He then tells us that they initially were going to hike a 15 mile trail but decided to take a shorter route. Okay, that's good, maybe we will be okay and little ol' Retro is all we need. Of course, we are allready about 3 hours into this, I know we have snapped a few pictures but can this 3 mile hike really take that long?

We finally reach Yellow Rock, we feel like we are on top of the world

We realize, it has been hours, we need to get back to our cabin, the girls are probably worried. We hit the trails again and come across several more cool things along the way

Finally, we see more humans, it has been a while and in the distance we see some type of covered awning, we must finally be at the end! We cheer in glee and say "Finally, were done!" The people walking by tell us that it is not over, we have to turn around and go back, "WHAT, is that some kind of joke?" "No, its not a joke, your only half way done, you gotta go back" I ask how many miles we walked and he said maybe a mile or a mile and a half. There is no way, we have been walking for 4 hours! The guy assures us, thats it, turn around and go back he says. We explained that we took the Yellow Rock trail, he tells us that we are no longer on that trail and on there way they went. OH MY! What trail are we on?

When we reach the top of the peak and get to the covered awning, we sit down and eat our pistachios.

From the outlook, we notice the bridge we walked across earlier that morning

It's a little overcast and we notice buzzards are circling in, we check out pulse, we are both still breathing and very much alive and decide we better try to find our way out of the mountains before it gets dark.

Liz and I agree, no more pictures until we are out of here. We are worried about the girls and hope they send the park rangers if we don't make it to the cabin soon. We are pretty hungry, Liz's fingers are looking pretty good about right now. Oh man, I knew I should have gotten a few of those matches from that fellow on the trail. Wait a minute, I was a boy scout leader before, I should be able to make fire with a rock and a stick. Seriously, if worse came to worse, we will eat the injured. I notice she is looking at me the same way, oh no, neither one of us can do that... we both agree, we will do our best to get out of there and we will not eat each other.

About another hour later, we run into a couple, YEA... people are such a good sign! We ask them how do we get out of here, I was a little disappointed in the cold and patronizing "follow the trail" response. I quickly explain we have been following the trail for 5 hours and getting a little worried, our trail was only supposed to be 3 miles and someone already told us we were not on yellow rock anymore. The guy asks if I want to see a map, UM HELLO... Does the Map say YOU ARE HERE?!?!?! Of course it does not, so the map doesn't do much for us and besides, he couldn't tell us where he was on the map. The lovely chap then suggested we follow the reflective diamonds on the tree's. Of course, we have been following the reflective tree's. So far we have seen white one, red ones, yellow ones, and some with horseshoe's on it. I explained that sometimes, there is a fork in the road so you have to choose, left or right. By now, I realize he is not of any help. I thank him for his help (he did offer the map) and we decide to go to the right.

A couple of things are beginning to look familiar, woo-hoo, I think we are really on our way out of here! Six hours later as we are exiting the trail, across the ravine we see the Girls... I run out of the trail and holler for them... they are just as excited to see us as we are to see them!

We meet at the bridge

Take one more set of steps

Take a group picture

Head back to the cabin

We cooked a great dinner, we enjoyed each others company, cleaned up and headed to town for sight seeing. Turns out we were in HOG Country, AR Razorbacks are a big thing in Fayettville

In the morning, we enjoyed breakfast together, one last time. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and took a few last pictures. At check out, Liz and I spoke to the Park Rangers about our hike, we told them some of the landmarks we saw and they explained we actually did a 8-9 milke hike. OH MY GOSH, are you kidding me?!?!? I thought my legs felt great but oh boy, when I heard that, THEY HURT, They hurt like Hell! Of course, the girls got one last good lauch out of that one and we said our goodbyes.

Two girls hit the road and four of us hiked another trail, went to town, ate lunch and then we went our separate ways. On our way home, we didn't stop as many times as we hoped but we did manage to stop at the New Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma, who knew you couldn't take pictures in a casino, I guess it's a good thing I still own my camera, I was pretty sure we were going to be tackled when they saw us taking pictures! Man, what a way to end a fabulous weekend, getting arrested for taking pictures of a casino, LOL! Thank goodness the girls at the front desk didn't report us. We were both beet red because of the to do everyone made about the camera. Needless to say there is never a dull moment when your on a road trip with your BFF!

Liz is not a member of SPARK but I am working on it, we both can't wait to do it again! I had a great time and meet some really wonderful ladies. If you ever get the chance to go to a convention, do it, you will have some life long memories and meet wonderful SPARKERS!

Ham & Cheese Breakfast Crescent 126 Calories (6.08g Fat)

2010-03-12T07:00:00.003-06:00

Any health conscience folks out there who just wish they could divulge and eat a warm and yummy pig in a blanket, well now you can and don't even worry about moving up a notch on your belt! This is warm and flaky crescent is stuffed full of cheese and ham, what a great breakfast treat!

Ingredients

1 Pillsbury Reduced Fat Crescent Rolls
8 Slices of 98% Fat Free Deli Thin Smoked Ham (Oscar Mayer or Kroger brand)
4 Slices of Kraft 2% American Cheese Singles, cut in half (making 8 pieces)

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 375 Degrees.

2.Unroll Reduced Fat Crescent Roll into one triangle piece, place half of piece of 2% American Cheese Single on flat triangle, place one piece of 98% Fat Free Smoked Ham on top of cheese, try to fit ham inside of triangle, roll into crescent and place on non-greased baking sheet. Repeat. Bake 12-14 minutes until crescents are golden brown. Cool two minutes, ENJOY!

This makes 8 servings, feel free to enjoy 2, you can afford it even if your counting calories.

Here's the skinny:

SERVINGS: 8
Calories: 126
Fat: 6.08g
Carb: 13.22g
Protein: 6.19g

Weight Watcher Points: Approx 3 PTS

Stir Fry Shrimp & Broccoli 275 Cal only 3.5g Fat

2010-03-10T18:42:00.007-06:00

Ingredients
1 Bag Frozen Broccoli & Cauliflower
1 Bag Frozen Stir Fry Vegetables
3 Cups Precooked Frozen Salad Shrimp
1 Box Barilla Whole Wheat Pasta
1 TBSP Light Soy Sauce
2 TBSP Sweet Chili Sauce
2 TSP Garlic Powder (more to taste)
1 TBSP Extra Virgen Olive Oil
1 TSP Cayenne Pepper (less/more to taste)

Directions

1.Cook Barilla Whole Grain Pasta as instructed on box.

2.Heat 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil in large skillet or wok. Add 1 Bag of Frozen Stir-Fry Vegetables, 1 Bag of Frozen Broccoli and Cauliflower and 1 tbsp Low Sodium Soy Sauce, cook for 2-3 minutes. Add 3 cups precooked frozen salad shrimp, 2 tsp garlic (more to taste) and 1 tsp cayenne pepper mix well cook another 2-3 minutes. Add 2 tbsp sweet chili sauce, 1 tsp water and cook an additional 5 minutes until mixture heated completely.

3.Serve Shrimp mixture over pasta, serves 8. ENJOY!

From frozen to cooked in no more than 15 minutes. Quick and easy dinner on nights you don't have much time to spend on feeding the family but would still like to sit down and enjoy each others company at the dinner table.

So here's our favorite part:

SERVINGS: 8
Calories: 275
FAT CAL: 32
Fat: 3.54g
Carb: 44g
Fiber: 7g
Protein: 16.4g

Weight Watcher Points: Approx 5 PTS

Kindness

2010-03-09T20:52:00.002-06:00

Today, I spent time reflecting on the things that I am most thankful for. Many times in life, people tend to gravitate towards negativity or the impossible. What I have learned most during my journey is that NOTHING is impossible and focusing on negativity only holds you behind.

I challenge everyone to release any negativity they might be holding on to, forgive those who have hurt you and most of all, appreciate those that do for you. The ones that encourage you, motivate you to do more, the ones who believe in you and do all the little things that keep you going.

I want to thank all of my blog followers, my spark friends and family that encourage me everyday to keep going. My journey began just 68 days ago and I have accomplished so much, none of which, I could do with out the support of you guys. Thanks again for being there for me and cheering me on.

I hope that I can pass on encouragement and random acts of kindness that might affect someone in a way that I might not understand but to that person, it will mean something.

Positivity breads positivity, feel your life with joy and share that with others. I know the world can be a hard and cruel place at times, there are those days that we feel like someone has played a terrible joke on us or we keep waiting for someone to jump out and holler "Your on Candid Camera." So let's stop, smell the roses and remember, we can all use a little more kindness in this world.

Journey of Transformation

2010-03-08T23:25:00.001-06:00

Tonight, I was invited to a my very first Yoga class (thank you Anume2010). I was "Gung ho and ready to go!" Absolutely hyped about my first class. There were actually a few things that excited me...

First: I was meeting my first SPARK Buddy in person (Anume2010) I have to admit, we stumbled across each others pages, I wrote about her in my Something to Ponder Blog on Friday, and three days later, I am going to a Yoga class with her. Anume, thank you for inviting me, it was a pleasure meeting you!

Second: I have fantasized about learning Tai-Chi for some time. I thought, yoga could do for now.

Third: I was going to attend a Yoga class, WOW!

So I arrive, just as excited as ever and ready to participate. I walk in, there are instructors at the door greeting me with a smile, very good sign :) The instructor teaching class introduces himself and guides me down the hall... giving me all the details, women dressing room on the right, leave all personal items in locker room, use the bathroom, take water in class, here's a towel for your matt, grab a matt in the back of class and find a place to set up and I will be in in a few minutes, just relax until I arrive.

I walk into a dark room, where is the back of class, there are people everywhere, oh man, its Hot in here... is that humidity? Okay, just be quite, be careful and please, whatever you do Steph... don't step on anyone. I find the mat and walk around aimlessly looking for a place to settle down, but where. I begin to take a seat an the instructor enters. He introduces himself and has us move around from people we know, this is a journey for yourself... wow, this sounds good. This isn't a place to compete with others, it is about becoming a better you, strengthening yourself and focusing on you. I am loving the sound of this class.

We spent a bit of time listening to our instructor, he told us of his journey, he himself was over 400 pounds when he began Yoga and has lost over 130 pounds in the last year by performing Yoga only... oh my, this can happen for me to. I am still excited, I felt strong and proud to be there, it was warm but it was very comfortable.

After we had the opportunity to introduce ourselves, we begin, YOGA is NO JOKE! YOGA is very strenuous, our instructor gently encouraged us and helped us with modifications, oh yes! I needed several modifications. Every once and a while, Anume2010 and I smiled at one another in the mirror. There were a few times, I actually felt dizzy and thought I could faint, I sat down as the instructor told us previously.

We practiced for about 45 minutes, before it was said and done, oh my goodness, I was drenched in sweat, I was beat and so ready to just get out of the hot room. Before our instructor released us, he asked if we would return. I had to seriously consider this, part of me wanted to say no, this isn't for me but I know that I can find so much strength if I continue this.... oh geez, everyone is class is saying they will return... I agree that I will as well. After class, our instructor gave us Electrolytes to help restore some of our energy, minerals and vitamins lost during our workout.

I have to admit, the only thing I was excited about after class was that class was over, I was worn out. It wasn't' like Cardio Dance or Zumba where I feel in LOVE with the first session and couldn't wait to go back, this was very hard grueling work.

Anume and I are going back for part two, this will be a complete 90 minute session, the instructor encouraged us to return and reminded us to rest when we needed it. He stayed behind and answered several of our questions. Which, I appreciated.

On my drive home, I could feel my muscles, there was actual soreness from several of the poses we held during our class, I could feel my thighs, glutes, back and stomach... more so my obliques. They are sore, oh, I do hope I can move tomorrow.

I honestly, could not lose a wink of sleep if I never went back, but I know where I am right now, I must go back. I am on a journey, I want to be healthier mentally and physically, Yoga promises to do both.

When I got home, I began to do a little research and the first thing I read is something from a woman who admits she is overweight and is interested in trying Yoga, the woman's friends say she should wait until she loses weight before trying however a Yoga instructor encouraged her to begin now, let me share what hit me most:

"The point is that yoga helps us find balance in all areas of our lives; we're not supposed to arrive in yoga class as a fait accompli. We're supposed to show up ready to take a journey of transformation, whatever that may be. Everyone comes to the mat with a different imbalance, but everyone is working on something, and it is the act of getting on the mat that points us in the right direction. "

So, I began a journey on 01-01-10 which I called my journey to overcoming obesity and my addiction to food. I am on a journey of transformation... all though Yoga does not have me doing back flips, I think I should give it a real try, keep going and see how truly I can transform.

Something to Ponder

2010-03-05T20:36:00.002-06:00

I have seen a lot of Trainer James in recent weeks on several SPARK pages, tonight I decided to check out his page, loved it. Great Motivator and he will make you think (check out his page, if your not on sparkpeople.com, you should be). I read his blog of the day: Obesity VS Food Plan and it really got me to think.

I do agree being obese keeps many of us on the sidelines of life, were waiting to lose weight before we begin our journey... some of us lose 10 years, other a few months and some don't lose any at all. Some people continue to live life to the fullest even at any weight, I just came across a Spark Page today of a beautiful woman, Anume2010 and she travels the world, hikes in rain forest, enjoys cruises, swims at the beach... things I have fantasized about doing of course, when I finally lost weight. Giving my props to Anume2010 for living life and being a beautiful shinning person!

Trainer James mentioned the importance of keeping a Food Journal which I completely agree with this! I was honestly mortified when I came to realize that some days, actually several days a week, I actually consumed 5000+ calories a day. No wonder I gained weight in morph speeds, I was literally eating myself away.

I personally don't believe anyone wants to be obese, some say they like it but in reality, being 330 pounds just a few months ago, being morbidly obese, I know how much weight hurts our bodies, there is nothing fun about it. For years I fantasized about finally losing the weight, what life would be like. Everything would be different, my career, my love life, I would be a better parent, I would take trips, I would dance, I would take pictures again, people would love me, I would love myself. But just like Trainer James said, the diet pills just masked my food addiction. The latest fad pill or combination of three super foods would help me lose 5-10 pounds, if that, and before you knew it, there I was in the drive-thru for Mickey Dee's, nothing changed. I was looking for a quick fix and there is not a quick fix to this problem. There is something deep that turns you to food instead of dealing with an issue at hand. Not all of us are emotional eaters, but many of us used food to deal with life. Why? Why do we do it?

Each person might have a different answer, some might not even know why they can't commit to improving their life, but there is something, a wall, an emotion, an event that is preventing them from moving forward, whether or not that person does not believe in themself or has just has lost all hope because it seems utterly impossible, how can we help that person?

It is time to do some soul searching, we have to identify the issue so we can finally face the battle once and for all.

I know it's Friday night and this blog is a little heavy but this week a friend of mine gave me some information that I just can't shake.

7 out of 8 people told that they must lose weight to prevent death DO NOT LOSE WEIGHT! Only 1 person will actually do something to save their own life.

So the real question is, (even if it is not a life or death situation) what is preventing you from losing weight?

***Just a side note, no matter where you are in your journey to becoming a healthier person, you are not alone, it is possible, you are stronger than you could ever imagine, I know you are. On January 1st 2010, if someone told me that on March 5th 2010 that I would be 38 pounds lighter, that I could walk 3 miles, ride a bike for 2 miles, complete an hour Cardio Dance Class and that I wouldn't have smoked in over 8 weeks... I would have laughed to myself, even though I wanted it, I didn't believe in myself, but now I do. I can thank all of my blog followers and SPARK for such motivation, inspiration and the knowledge that has kept me going.

In the past, FEAR of FAILURE kept me lurking in the shadows of life as an obese person, I had given up all hope. I am so glad I can see clearly now, it is possible. I read this on SPARK and want to share it with you:

Weight Loss isn't just about choosing to eat right & exercise. Many times, it is also about having the self-worth to make a change and believing that you deserve to do something positive for yourself!

Every Person is worthy of love, respect and self-care, maintaining a healthy weight is part of that.

But again, I challenge you: What is or has prevented you from losing weight?

or

What has given you the strength to overcome this obstacle once and for all?

THANK GOODNESS

2010-03-04T22:59:00.004-06:00

A friend of mine invited me to her gym, she is a fitness animal, treadmill for an hour, kickboxing, dance, weights.. you name it, she's got it. She is even a Sauna/Steam Room Warrior. Traditional gyms have never done anything for me, I just have always been so uncomfortable and overwhelmed there... this is probably why I am a Curves Fanatic. Total body workout, cardio and strength, in 30 minutes.. seriously, you can burn up to 500 Calories in 30 minutes, who would ask for more?

But anyhow, I decided to take her up on her offer, after all, she is the person who motivated me to finally do something about my weight, THANK GOODNESS FOR MOTIVATION! Our plans were to meet at her house at 9am. I decided to hit the Curves Circuit before meeting her, just to be sure I got in my workout... a girls got goals to meet! After my workout, I am about to head to her house and I receive a text from her, she had a few errands to run and was running late. I am pumped and ready to go, so I decided to go ahead and get my bike ride in... off to the park I go. 20 minutes later, I am done with my 2 mile ride, doing a little victory dance because I am feeling good, I am really enjoying the bike... I might like this more than walking. I put up my bike, get in a good stretch and check my phone, no messages, well why not... I have 500 miles to walk this year, I could a mile?!?!?

I hit the pavement and off I go. As my walk comes to an end, my legs are feeling like rubber bands, after stretching they felt stronger and I hoped they might be able to get me back to my car, they made it, whew! I get the text, she is on her way home... Oh man, I am POOPED, I just worked out like a mad woman... but I promised.

I wasn't sure my legs would make it from my car to her front door, I said a little prayer, don't fail me now legs, I was surprised, they were a little tight but overall, feeling pretty strong, and once again, they made it, I was at the door! THANK GOODNESS FOR STRENGTH! Okay, I can do this! Off to the gym we go!

As we pull into the parking lot, I realize, this gym is HUGE! There is no way 3 months ago that I would have ever dreamed going into a gym full of beautifully sculpted people, but the difference now, I know how strong I am, I also realize, to become healthy, I need to work out and frankly, they are not gonna stare at me, I am the last thing on their mind, they are there to get their Fit (the world doesn't revolve around me, all the time, LOL)!

We head into the gym, legs still standing and moving on command, very good sign.... as we walk in, I realize, its even BIGGER on the inside! WOW - ENORMOUS, this gym is gigantic, oh my, what do I do? Are there even instruction manuals for all of these machines? After pulling myself together, I decided to jump on the only machine that I knew I could use... the Elliptical. Before you knew it, I had worked out about 42 minutes and went a little over 3 miles! I was beginning to think my friend was the next Jillian Michaels, pushing me to work harder than humanly possible and then I heard my friend calling my name, she took mercy on me and rescued me, THANK GOODNESS FOR GREAT FRIENDS who will cut their workout short for a friend in need!

I am feeling good but I just wasn't sure I would be able to pick my feet off the ground once I stepped off the elliptical. I slowly put one foot to the floor and then the other, I stand there for a moment, please work, please work! Whew... they did, THANK GOODNESS FOR COORDINATION! The rubber bands were back, but one after the other, they kept walking! I put in another good stretch and they are feeling a little stronger, I won't have to be wheeled outta there after all!

After our workout, we relaxed in the Sauna, it was like going to Phoenix on the hottest day in the summer, it had to be 190 degrees in there and it was just dry as can be, I was sure I had a nose bleed but then realized it was just sweat pouring off of my face. Man, I sure hope this finally gets all the smoking for years crud out of my lungs for once and for all! Is that a nose bleed? Oh no, just sweat, do I have anything left to sweat? I had a little pep talk in my head, you can do this, just don't panic and then I realized, marking that wheel chair off the list was done in haste, the sauna is brutal! After a moment, I began to relax, oh, okay, this isn't so bad, I am actually able to breathe. I was actually beginning to enjoy it and then out of no where... PSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and steam galore, oh my, I am choking, no no, I am not, just breathe, slowly, in through the nose (OUCH, it hurts) out through the mouth, wait is my nose bleeding again, no, no it's still just sweat. Oh man, that's it, I just can't do it anymore, I stayed as long as I could. THANK GOODNESS FOR TRUE FRIENDS, she was such a trooper and cut her sauna time short, this is saying a LOT for the Sauna Queen. After a good hot shower, she treated me to lunch, Subway! THANK GOODNESS FOR GREAT FRIENDS AND SUBWAY!

After I got home, I rested and cooked dinner. My legs were cooperating completely but were very tight. I asked my so to karate chop my legs after dinner and he said yes, THANK GOODNESS FOR SONS. I then soaked in a nice hot bath, my legs were thankful. THANK GOODNESS FOR HOT BATHS! THANK GOODNESS FOR LEGS AND NEWLY FOUND CALVES!

Look Mom - CALVES!

2010-03-02T20:20:00.001-06:00

I wake up this morning somewhat in a frump. I was tired, pooped, exhausted, dead dog tired,so ready to take a nap. I stayed up a little late last night watching a movie. I really need to add "GET MORE SLEEP" to my goals, seriously! But that isn't what that is about. Instead of going back to bed, I played around on the computer, watched the morning news and had my high protein breakfast hoping it would pick up my energy level. I did a little SPARKING in hopes to get the desire to get up and get moving. I pretty much decided I would wait until this afternoon to hit the gym.

I was just about to head to bed and my phone rings. It is my girlfriend from Curves, she wanted to know if I would like to go walk with her and her daughter. I felt like that was a sign, I should get up and get moving. I decided that I'd take my bike along, maybe after our walk, I would ride one mile.

My friend and I walk, I am so proud of her, she is working out at Curves 4-5 days a week and she rocks that circuit 4 times. She is doing great! She walks a little slower than me, but it doesn't matter, every step counts and I am so glad to be there for her like she is for me. I enjoy the company and we finish our mile.

As they pull out of the parking lot, I pull out my bike. I jump on and start my ride... wow, I finished a mile, I did have a burn, but suddenly, I had this burst of energy, I felt like I could just go and go and go. I decide to ride 1.5 miles and before you know it, I am almost through with my mile and a half, my thighs were burning. I could hear my son in my head cheering me on "Come on Mom, you can do this, I know you can, your almost there, keep it up!" So I push myself harder and there it is, I completed two miles! I felt like I could go another mile but I didn't want to kill my legs, I knew I needed to hit the gym.

When I was done, I stretched, oh my legs, felt like rubber bands, wobbly rubber bands but they kept working, after stretching, they felt strong. I jump in the car and decided, lets take this to the gym! By the time I left the park I downed my 16 oz of water, I stopped at home and grabbed some more. Not even for a second was I tempted to miss the gym, I was pumped and ready to go!

I jammed on the way to the gym, keep that momentum going, increasing my energy with every beat. I quickly arrive, park and jump out of the car. I am walking up to the gym and as I am walking into the door, I notice something, I stop do a double take, standing with the door wide open.... and there it is.... OH MY GOSH, I HAVE CALVES! I flex a few times, check my other leg, there it is... ANOTHER CALF, WOW! A member in the gym looks up and says, yea... their there, I noticed your calves yesterday, they are looking good! "Are you serious," I ask and she said "I really did notice, your calves look great!"

At this point, I have a smile from ear to ear, I don't even know how long it has been since I have had Calves, at least 10 years if not longer. I couldn't wait to get home and get a picture, so here it is.... My BEAUTIFUL CALVES, currently under construction but chiseling away beautifully! I feel so proud!

Week 8 results - This is really happening!

2010-03-01T16:32:00.003-06:00

WOW - February was a GREAT month! I entered Twoville, WOO-HOO! I successfully made it past a plateau, I didn't throw in the white flag and give up, I just kept going! I ate very healthy, Enjoyed cooking several new recipes, Began riding my bike (thighs are still burnin) and discovered that even through adversity, my emotions don't have to get the best of me. I can use exercise as a way to relieve stress and deal with my feelings. I gave not smoked in 7 weeks and 6 days, that's 55 days folks! I am truly becoming a healthier person!

01-01-2010
WEIGHT: 330 LB.
BUST: 55.00"
WAIST: 58.50"
ABDOMEN: 64.00"
HIPS: 65.00"
THIGHS: 34.00"
ARMS: 17.00"
BMI: 56.58
Body Fat Percent: Not measurable (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

02-01-2010
WEIGHT: 312 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (-1.50")
WAIST: 52.50" (-6.00")
ABDOMEN: 62.00" (-2.00")
HIPS: 61.50" (-3.50")
THIGHS: 33.25" (-1.50")
ARMS: 18.25" (+2.50")
BMI: 53.95 (-2.64)
Body Fat Percent: Over 50% (machine at gym only goes to 50%, I get an error msg)

03-01-2010
WEIGHT: 292 LB.
BUST: 52.50" (same)
WAIST: 50.00" (-2.50")
ABDOMEN: 59.50" (-2.50")
HIPS: 60.50" (-1.00")
THIGHS: 33.25" (same)
ARMS: 18.25" (-1.50")
BMI: 51.80 (-2.15)
Body Fat Percent: 50% (Finally Measurable, Woo-Hoo)

TOTAL RESULTS:
YTD WEIGHT LOST: 38 POUNDS
FEB WEIGHT LOST: 20 POUNDS
INCHES LOST: 7.5 INCHES
BMI LOST: 2.15
Body Fat Percent: 50% (Don't know what was lost, but I am measurable)

I am ECSTATIC, this is really happening! I remember fantasizing about losing weight and now, I am truly becoming a healthier person, everyday!

My Goals in February were:
1) Walk 40 miles (I walked 37.5 Miles, YTD: 47.5 Miles)
2) Lose 10 pounds (I lost 20)
3) Have fun in the kitchen cooking healthy: new recipes; healthy desserts (Check)
4) Work out at Curves at least 16 times (19 Times)

What I learned in February:
1) I am strong
2) I am enjoying exercise
3) Cycling is no joke
4) Food and Water is truly Fuel for the Body
5) The scale does not dictate my journey
6) Have fun with your workout, every step counts
7) Support goes such a long way

Goals for March:
1) Walk 40 miles
2) Cycle 15 miles
3) Work out at Curves at least 20 times (last month was 19)
4) Lose 10 pounds

For the first time in my life, I believe it is possible. I am really making healthy changes in my life. The other day, I took my son through a drive thru and ordered him a burger and fries, I didn't order a thing. I sat in that car and smelled the fried food and that juicy burger (I will admit, my taste buds were watering) and I didn't feel like I had to have one too. I was okay with waiting to get home so I could eat something healthy for my body. I did eat two french fries, it satisfied me and I didn't feel like I was missing anything. Things are truly changing for the best inside of my body!

Another thing I am so excited about is that I finally found out my Body Fat Percentage, at the gym, the machine can only calculate Body Fat Percent up to 50%, in January and February, I received an error code, meaning I was over 50% body fat. Today, I was 50%, who ever thought I would celebrate being 50% FAT. Its somewhat funny and even a little ironic, but when I saw that 50%, what I really realized is that I have a 146 Pound Muscle Machine underneath all this fluff and I know, she is finally ready to reveal herself!

I am so excited to see what March brings! As always, I will take it "One Meal at a time, One Day at a Time!"

MUCH LOVE TO EVERYONE WHO GIVES THEIR SUPPORT AND ALL THAT HELP ME STAY ACCOUNTABLE, WITHOUT YOU, I WOULDN'T BE DOING THE HAPPY DANCE RIGHT NOW! YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS, FEEDBACK AND INPUT. THANK YOU FOR BEING ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME!!! XOxoXOxoXO!

299 For a Limited Time

2010-02-25T08:20:00.002-06:00

Yes, just like a commercial or a sale at a local drive-thru "299 for a Limited Time!" The numbers on my scale haven't moved in a week for me. This is very strange, I have consistently had great numbers over the last 6 weeks, but that number hasn't budged at all! I reflected over the last week and pondered, what have I done differently? No much, all though at times I feel ravishingly hungry.

Within Caloric Range - Check
Exercise - Check
Water - Check
Tracking Food - Check
Blogging - Check
Good Nights Sleep - Check
Stress Management - Check

So what's happening? That number on the scale still reads 299, UGH, the evil scale. If I only thought of that number, I might be ready to just throw in the towel but I realize, it might not reflect in the number but something wonderful is happening in my body. My clothes fit better ( I can wear clothes, I haven't been able to wear in such a long time), I have more energy, I am enjoying exercise (usually), I am eating better, I am loving water... good things are happening.

So today, I begin my special.... "299 for a limited Time." I will continue to work towards being a healthier person and creating a healthy lifestyle for myself and my family. The battle with the scale will have to wait, eventually, all the good choices will catch up with number on the scale and my daily special "299 for a Limited Time" will end.

P ushing myself
E veryday
R esulting in
S uch
I ncredible
S elf-worth;
T aking control of my life and most importantly my physical and mental health
A t all times
N ever ever
C easing to love myself and
E njoying the journey every step of the way

PERSISTANCE = SUCCESS

Cheesy Eggplant Parmesan 172 Calories, 4.71g Fat

2010-02-23T20:09:00.005-06:00

Eggplant covered in a zesty tomato sauce and smothered in cheese

Ingredients
1 Medium Unpeeled Eggplant
1/4 cup Whole Wheat Flour
1 cup Private Selection/Kroger Parmesan Herb Panko Crumbs
1/2 Egg Beaters
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 dash Sea Salt
1 dash Coarse Black Pepper
1 cup Crushed Tomatoes (canned)
1 cup Mozzarella Lowfat Cheese
1 tbsp Italian Seasoning

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 375 Degrees. Spray baking sheet with non-stick spray, set to side.

2.Cut ends off of eggplant and cut into round slices approx 1/4 inch thick, set to side.

3.Pour 1/4 cup Whole Wheat Flour into bowl. Pour 1/2 of Egg Beaters into a separate bowl. Pour 1 cup Private Selection (Kroger) Parmesan Herb Panko Crumbs into a separate bowl (If you do not have Parmesan Herb Panko Crumbs, use non seasoned Panko Crumbs and add 2 tbls of Italian Seasoning)

4.Cover one eggplant slice with flour, then dip in egg, shake off excess egg mixture, dip eggplant into panko crumbs and cover well. Place covered eggplant on baking sheet. Repeat until all eggplant covered. Spray Eggplant with non-stick spray.

5.Bake Eggplant for 15 minutes, remove from oven, flip eggplant over, spray with non-stick spray and bake an additional 15 minutes. Meanwhile, pour one cup canned crushed tomato into bowl, add 1 tbsp Italian seasoning, 1 tsp garlic powder, dash of salt, dash of pepper and mix well. Warm mixture in microwave for 3 minutes on medium heat, stir well.

6.Once Eggplant is completely cooked, remove from oven, add 1 spoon of tomato sauce over eggplant and top with mozzarella cheese (use 1 cup lowfat mozzarella cheese evenly over all eggplant) Bake an additional 5 minutes until cheese is melted.

Makes 5 Servings (approx 3 Eggplant Slices per serving)

Let me just say "Oh My Goodness, this is GOOD!" Not only does this satisfy the desires from something packed with crunch, but this zesty and cheesy eggplant, is a great way to mix things up for dinner. Not your ordinary same ol' same ol' when this is served!

This was a great way to mix things up at dinner, we ate this as the main dish and enjoyed a side salad and a small baked yam. What a hit at the dinner table. I really really enjoyed this one!

Two Thumbs Up for Taste and Presentation!

Now here's what were all waiting for:

Calories: 172
Fat: 4.71g
Carb: 21.67g
Fiber: 5.2g
Protein: 13.6g

Weight Watchers: Approximately 3 PTS

A Constant Battle

2010-02-22T19:48:00.001-06:00

Last week I accomplished several HUGE goals:

31 Pounds Lost
Entered TWOVILLE
No Smoking in 6 weeks
Consistently cooking and eating healthy
No Fast Food in over 6 weeks
No Candy Bar in over 6 weeks

I'm not sure what happened, but somewhere in the excitement of getting under 300 pounds, it seems like I have lost my stamina and my focus. I have to admit, I feel like I am living in the Night Before Christmas except instead of visions of Sugar-Plums dancing in my head, I have been seeing:

Pizza
Cake
Burgers
Fries

Oh my, I just want something fried, I don't care what it is, anything fried is good. For crying out loud, at the State Fair they had Fried Butter. Anyhow, I haven't caved but I feel so close. My workouts have been so drab, I haven't put a lot of energy into them.

Monday rolls around and its time for a workout, I went, I didn't want to go but I put my girl pants on and headed to the gym. Naturally, I felt so much better after working out and I can proudly say that I worked out harder today than I have in the last 3 days.

I know I will make it past this, I am completely focused on becoming a healthier person this year. Even becoming a healthier person, it doesn't change that I want foods that are not so healthy. Yesterday, I made a homemade pizza, which was 99 calories a slice, it wasn't my favorite, of course, it didn't compare to Pan Crust Pepperoni, Bacon and Jalapeno Pizza I was craving. I am going to work on it again, when I find a hit, I will post a recipe until then... I will keep trying.

I've decided to sit down and refocus. I am here today because I have one to many times in my life given into that Burger, Pizza, Fries, Cheese Sticks, etc. These foods will never ever go away however, I will in my journey find the balance. I will understand moderation and recognize what my body is truly hungry for.

For the time being, I must continue to do my best to eat healthy and stay away from foods that are not healthy for my inner athlete.

I am here to change my life and giving in right now would be to similar to going back and giving up.

I am not gonna be the one on the floor, food will not conquer me another day of my life. To continuing on my journey and working towards my health

Fire Twisted Hot Wings 138 Calories and only 1.45g Fat

2010-02-20T18:47:00.003-06:00

Get ready to call the Fire Department, these wings are packed with a punch!

Ingredients
1 package of Jennie-O Turkey Tenderloins
1/4 Egg Substitute
1/4 cup Whole Wheat Flour
1 dash sea salt
1 dash coarse black pepper
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot Wing Sauce Hot Buffalo

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 375 Degrees. Spray baking sheet with non-stick spray, set to side.

2.Pour 1/4 cup Whole Wheat Flour in a deep bowl/container, add 1/4 tsp garlic, a dash of salt and a dash of pepper, mix well and set to side.

3.Cut Jennie-O Extra Lean Turkey Tenderloins into small pieces or nuggets. Place all nuggets in a large bowl that has a lid. Pour 1/4 Cup Egg Beaters (or two egg whites) over turkey nuggets, seal bowl with lid and shake well. Remove lid.

4.One at a time, remove from turkey nugget from egg mixture, shake off excess egg, place in flour mixture and coat nugget, place nugget on baking sheet. Repeat until all nuggets are coated.

5.Spray Coated Nuggets with non-stick spray, bake in oven for 8 minutes. Remove from oven, flip each nugget over, spray nuggets with non-stick spray and bake an additional 8 minutes or until nuggets are fully cooked. Remove from oven allow to cool on sheet for 2 minutes.

6.Place cooked nuggets in large bowl that has a lid, pour 1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot Wings Hot Buffalo Sauce over turkey nuggets. Place lid on bowl and shake well to cover all nuggets.

Makes 5 Servings (about 6 wings each)

Optional: Garnish with Celery and your favorite Low Fat/Cal Ranch Dressing. I wish I could find a way to make blue cheese dressing low fat, but I haven't been able to figure that one out yet :) I also have not been able to find a Lowfat Ranch dressing that I like, I usually mix 4 tbsp fat free sour cream and 1 1/2 tsp Ranch Dressing Powder for a nice dipping sauce. (Just an FYI, its a big hit at my house)

These Wings would be great for game day, the boys will have a hard time keeping their hands off these. If you don't like HOT, use a mild sauce because these bad boys are H-O-T, have the water hose ready!

Calories: 138
Fat: 1.45g
Carb: 4.81g
Fiber: .6g
Protein: 25.4g

Weight Watchers: Approximately 3 PTS

Shrimp Primavera 327 Calories (8.33g Fat)

2010-02-19T19:55:00.005-06:00

Deliciously rich pasta recipe loaded with shrimp, fresh veggies and cheese, no guilt here folks!

Ingredients

24 Medium Asparagus Spears
6 Medium Carrots
4 Garlic Cloves
3/4 cup Ragu Light Parmesan Alfredo Sauce
3 Cups Precooked Frozen Salad Shrimp
1 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/2 Box Barilla Whole Grain Spaghetti
4 tsp Kraft Reduced Fat Parmesan Grated Cheese Topping

Directions

1.Cook Barilla Whole Grain Spaghetti as package directs; drain

2.Trim and Cut Asparagus into 1 inch pieces, Peel and chop carrots into slices about 1/4 inch thick. Measure 3 cups of Precooked Salad Shrimp (frozen) and set to side.

3.Spray large skillet/wok with non-stick spray, add 1 tbsp extra lean olive oil, bring to high heat, add carrots. Grate 4 garlic cloves into skillet/wok. Add Asparagus and cook for 5 minutes.

4.Add frozen precooked shrimp to skillet/wok until shrimp is heated through. The pan will have juice from shrimp, add 3/4 cups Ragu Light Parmesan Alfredo Sauce and heat until warm. Add 4 tsp reduced fat Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to taste. (If sauce is too thick, add 2 tbsp of water if preferred)

5.Place pasta in bowl and top with shrimp mixture. Makes 5 servings.

Who said the days of succulent rich Alfredo sauces were over? You can enjoy every bite of this dish without any guilt and no extra workout required. We ate this with a nice salad on the side. YUM YUM YUM, did I say YUM?

This is something I just threw together, somewhat playing in the kitchen and oh boy, it was a hit! You could also add other veggies like thinly sliced bell peppers, green onions and capers, I think the green onion and capers would be a great combination with the shrimp. If you don't care for shrimp, just hold the meat or dice up a grilled boneless skinless chicken breast.

This meal was a delight, it was very filling and no fuss in the kitchen, quick and easy meal.

So here's the skinny (oh yes, I mean skinny)

Cal: 327
Fat: 8.33g
Carb: 41.49g
Fiber: 7.9g
Protein: 23.42g

Weight Wathers - Approximately 6 PTS

330 VS 299 - Whats it look like?

2010-02-18T23:43:00.005-06:00

I just have to say that I appreciate all of the support and encouragement, you guys rock the house! It is overwhelming the love, cheers, well to dos, and hugs that I have received from everyone! Thank you so very much!

Many people have asked for updated pics, I was going to wait until I lost 50 pounds before posting any pics, but hey.... 31 pounds, that is pretty significant, so here we go

330 Pounds:

299 Pounds:

So, not a huge difference but noticeable in the upper tire :) It's not as inflated anymore! Lovin it! My Brother saw me this afternoon and said, Sis... your losing weight! I said, oh come on, your pulling my chain, I know you can't tell. He told me, yes you can, in the middle, you not as round as you were, keep it up!

I was like, woo-hoo, a person finally noticed! Yippee!

Okay, I am putting a rating on the next pic, X and of course that is for XLarge
The Rear View at 299:

So yes, Baby's Got Back! I always have, it just kept growing with the rest of me. I decided to add the backside, now that I've joined SPARK, I am a little more hip to what angles to take pics from, basically, any angle that I have avoided for the last 10 years. I don't have one at 330 but I thought it would be good to see the backside at 299 so I would have a comparison later. I don't want to lose all my junk, but I do want to minimize it with the rest of me.

One more shot... the side view @ 299 (no 330 pre-shot available)

So this is me at 299. Not a huge difference from 330 pounds but it is 31 pounds less (not to mention, I am in TWOVILLE), my clothes feel better and I can wear blouses that I haven't been able to wear in a few years. Woo-Hoo!

Now entering TWOVILLE

2010-02-18T10:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, I hit the gym, I was kinda dragging, not really wanting to be there but showing up is 90% of it, right? Against all judgement (I'm trying to keep this down to a weekly event) I decided to weigh myself. I Move the weight to 300, and and the other weight to 302.... TOO HEAVY! Hmmm, I move it to 301, TOO HEAVY... I move the small weight and 300 is STILL TOO HEAVY! Tears well in my eyes, am I seeing this correctly. I move the big weight to 280 and then take the little weight and move it over, 300 is still TOO HEAVY. I move that little number to 19 and viola.... I am 299 pounds. I have officially entered TWOVILLE! I cried, I clapped and cried a little more.

I have not been under three hundred pounds in over two years. I was amazed that I have finally committed to my health, I realized, I am doing this. I am getting healthier everyday.

I wanted to scream it out on roof tops, "I have entered TWOVILLE!" I wanted to do a back flip or a cart wheel, I was just so happy! At this point, I am unable to do a cartwheel so I decided to put all that energy in my workout. After my workout, I went to the park and walked a mile and half.

As I was walking, I realized that I have actually lost 31 pounds, that is almost 10% of my starting weight of 330 pounds. When I began this journey, I made the decision that I would update my picture when I lost 50 pounds. I am more than half way there, I am merely 19 pounds away from taking an updated pic.

I would have never imagined entering into twoville so quickly, but I realize, that the changes in my lifestyle make it possible. I am literally getting healthier every single day.

I appreciate SPARK more than I can express. Everyday I am motivated to give it my best and push myself to do more. Everyday I meet new people who have accomplished so many things and share their stories. These stories encourage us to keep going.

I've been told that I motivate people, this still amazes me. This makes me work harder, being the person who doesn't want to disappoint anyone, I don't want to disappoint any of you. Although this journey is still for me and my health, I push myself harder when I don't want to do something because of the support and encouragement I have found in my new SPARK family. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Bye Bye Three Hundred, I have been with you for so long but I have to admit, I will never return. I can no longer blame you for being unhappy or uncomfortable. It is my choice to change, to be healthier and now that I have left, I can honestly say, I am not coming back,

HELLO TWOVILLE! I will be here for a while but I am just passing through!

Chocolate Treasures 40 Calories (1.31g Fat)

2010-02-16T21:53:00.003-06:00

Flaky pastry treat filled with chocolate, cream and blackberries

Ingredients

1 package of Athens Mini Fillo Shells (can be found at Kroger's, frozen food section)
1 package Kroger instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup skim milk
1/4 cup fat free cool whip
15 cup blackberries or raspberries
1 tbsp Kroger Semi Sweet Chocolate MINI Morsels (MINI MORSELS)

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place Athens Mini Fillo Shells on baking sheet, add 6 mini semi-sweet chocolate chip morsels in each shell, set to side.

2.Mix 1 cup of milk with Kroger Sugar Free Instant pudding mix, beat on low for 2 minutes. Put pudding into cake decorating bag with star tip. Place in fridge to keep cool and allow a little time for pudding to thicken.

3.Place Fillo shells filled with mini morsels in oven, bake for 5 minutes, remove from oven and allow to cool.

4.Fill each Fillo Shell with pudding.

5.Place 1/4 Fat Free Cool Whip in a cake decorating bag with small star/flower. Top each chocolate filled fillo shell with whipped topping.

6.Add one blackberry or raspberry to each treat.

This recipe makes 15 delicious treasures. This little treasure was a BIG hit at my house. Very yummy, if your looking for something chocolate. It reminded me of a chocolate pie. This is something I was just playing around with and we will definitely be making this one again.

Each Treat

Calories: 40 (12 Fat Cal)
Fat: 1.31g
Carb: 6.16g
Sugars: 1.94g
Protein: .73g

Week 6 results - So close I can taste it

2010-02-15T17:47:00.002-06:00

I hit the gym this morning and nearly shouted, I practically jumped for joy. Hold the press folks, I am 302 pounds! Three itty bitty pounds away from "TWO-VILLE!" Oh my goodness, I can nearly taste it, it is so close I can almost touch it!

Looking back over the last 6 weeks, all I can do is the happy dance. I am by far no where near my goal weight of 135 pounds however

-I have lost 28 pounds which just so happens to be an average two year old and a human brain (see what have u lost blog)
-I have gone to the gym 24 times this year
-I have walked 26 miles
-I haven't smoked in 5 weeks and 6 days
-I have counted calories and tracked everything I have eaten for 43 days strait
-I plan my meals in advance
-I pack snacks
-I take a healthy dish to parties to be sure I have something to eat
-I am using exercise to relieve stress
-I read nutrition labels
-I have more energy
-My body and joints feel better
-I am closer with my son, we walk at least 5 miles a week together
-I walk to the grocery store when I only have a few staples to grab
-I drink at least 12 glasses of water every day
-I try new foods
-I no longer fry foods
-I am having fun cooking healthy in the kitchen
-I can bend over and tie my shoes
-I can walk 3.5 miles without stopping
-I can put my panties on without sitting down (still a challenge but I can do it!)
-I can complete an entire HIP HOP ABS Video
-I can run around and play football with the kids
-I AM PUTTING MY HEALTH FIRST!!!!

So in just 42 days, I have truly dedicated my energy to being a healthier person. I am on the road to overcoming obesity. I have fallen but I have gotten back up and I keep moving.

There are days I still fight with my desire to eat everything in sight but I am not giving up. 2010 is my year and I will no longer be trapped behind what I allowed my body to look like. I am learning to love my body and I appreciate my health. I feel myself getting stronger and I am so excited to see what I can do in another 42 days.

I want to give a special thanks to all my family, SPARK friends and anyone who may be following/reading my blog. Your support helps to keep me going and gives me hope. I appreciate you so much and I thank you for being there for me! HUGS and LOVE!

As always, one meal at a time, one day at a time!

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

2010-02-14T17:24:00.002-06:00

Deliciously sweet with the perfect touch of chocolate. You can enjoy every bite of this decadently sweet treat without any guilt. Each strawberry is covered in Real Dark Semi-Sweet Chocolate!

Ingredients

10 Large Strawberries
18 Baker's Dipping Chocolate Wafers (Real Semi-Dark Chocolate)

Directions

1.Rinse 10 Medium to Large Strawberries, pat dry and set to side.

2.Remove 18 Chocolate Wafers and place in small glass bowl. Heat in microwave for 20 seconds; STIR chocolate. REPEAT until most of the chocolate is melted. Stir vigorously until smooth and glossy.

3.Using spoon, cover each strawberry in chocolate. Place strawberry on was paper upside down until cool, approx 2 minutes.

Makes 10 Servings

ENJOY this simple and delicious treat with someone you care about. If you like chocolate this is the perfect treat for you. The Strawberry adds the perfect amount of sweetness to the Semi-Dark Chocolate! Trust me, this is a guilt free way of eating chocolate.

Now sit down for this, your not going to believe the caloric intake of this treat. Each Strawberry is:

Calories: 27
Fat: 1.4g
Carb: 4g
Protein: .27g

I ate 5 delicious Strawberries and it was only 135 Calories. It was great! I got my chocolate in for Valentines day and felt so satisfied! Be sure to add Strawberries and Baker's Dipping Chocolate (Semi-Dark) to your next shopping list. Folks, your gonna love this one!

Cheesy Beefy Quesadilla 230 Calories (31 Fat Cal, 3.4g Fat)

2010-02-12T16:16:00.003-06:00

Deliciously crispy and cheesy beef quesadilla. Get your taste buds ready for this yummy treat!

Ingredients
2/3 cup Morning Star Farms Crumbles
2 Mission 96% Fat Free Whole Wheat Tortilla (Medium-Soft Taco)
1/2 cup chopped or sliced Roma tomato (1 Roma tomato)
1/3 cup chopped onions
1 stalk green onion
1/4 cup chopped mushrooms
1 serving fat free cream cheese
1 serving Kraft fat free cheddar cheese
1 tsp Badia Fajita Seasoning (or any other dry Fajita or Taco Seasoning)

Directions

1.Chop onion, green onion stalk, tomato, and mushrooms and place in mixing bowl. Add Crumbles, add 1 tsp Badia Fajita Seasoning, Add 2/3 Cups Morning Star Crumbles mix well.

2.Spray small or medium saute pan with Non-Stick spray and bring to medium high heat. Add mixture and cook until onion, tomato and mushrooms are soft. Once soft, add 1oz (2 tblspoons) of Fat Free Cream Cheese, mix well until melted smoothly. Add 1/4 cup Fat Free Cheddar Cheese, mix well and remove from heat.

3.Spray Large Saute Pan with non-stick spray, bring to Hi heat, add tortilla, let cook on one side then flip with spatula. Add Half of prepared mixture, close tortilla and brown both sides of the tortilla. Remove from heat and cut into 4 triangles. Repeat to cook second quesadilla.

Makes Two Servings.

Garnish with Sour Cream and Salsa, Enjoy!

Calories: 230 (31 Fat Cal)
Fat: 3.4g
Carb: 36g
Fiber: 5.7g
Protein: 16.52g

Great treat! This would be a great appetizer or a light lunch. We enjoyed the quesadillas with sliced bell peppers (orange, green and red).

This was inspired from a HG Recipe, I changed it drastically, if your interested in seeing the HG Version, you can check it out on the HG website at http://www.hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=1725

HG Cream Puffs 57 Calories, 2.25g Fat (if made w/ light butter 45 cal, 1.5 g Fat)

2010-02-11T22:33:00.005-06:00

Flaky Cream Puffs filled with Vanilla Cream Filling

Ingredients
1/2 cup Flour
1/2 cup Water
1 tsp Splenda
1/4 tsp Vanilla Extract
3 tbsp Light Butter
4 Med Egg Whites
1 Jell-o Sugar Free Vanilla Pudding 60 Calorie
1/2 cup Fat Free Cool Whip
12 Blackberries

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Mix flour, salt and Splenda together; set aside.

2.In a medium-sized saucepan, combine water, butter and vanilla. Bring to a boil while stirring constantly. Once mixture is blended and boiling, reduce heat to low. Add flour mixture and stir vigorously until a ball of dough forms. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Once cool, use an electric mixer at medium speed while slowly adding egg whites until mixture is blended.

3.Spray a large baking pan lightly with nonstick cooking spray. Drop 12 spoonfuls of mixture onto pan, evenly spacing them out. Cook for 10 minutes, then reduce heat to 375 degrees. Cook for an additional 10 - 15 minutes (until puffs appear very firm), then remove puffs from oven.

4.Pierce the top of each with a knife and allow them to cool completely. Once ready to serve, mix pudding and Cool Whip together. Pull top of puffs off and remove any doughy, undercooked insides and discard top and doughy undercooked insides.

5.Fill puffs with pudding mixture and top with a blackberry. Enjoy! Makes 12 creamy, dreamy puffs.

Okay, here's the skinny, in my opinion, this is just too much work for such a little treat. Of course, I put my own twist on it. I removed the tops completely and added a blackberry. This recipe reminded me of Bovarian Cream Tarts that I've made in the past...that's why I chose to add the blackberries. The blackberry really complemented the pudding/whip cream mixture, very yummy together.

Since these are low cal, you could eat two and if your willing to do an extra 10 or 15 minutes on the elipitcal, you could maybe even eat three. If you don't have guest over to help eat these little treats, I can certainly see this would be a problem to have in the house, especially if it called your name until you devoured them all, like what I did! I winded up eating 6 of these little bad boys and oh man, my stomach hurts! Here's the good news, I went to the Gym this morning and got in my 45 minutes on the circuit. This evening I got in a brisk one mile walk and played outside in the snow with the kiddos for an hour... hopefully this helps with the extra cal's)

So here's the skinny on the calories:

Cal: 57 (20 Fat Cal)
Fat: 2.25g
Carb: 7.16g
Protein: 1.85g

Keep in mind, we discarded the top of the puffs (this should reduce calories and fat slightly, I'm just not sure how to calculate that. Also, I didn't have light butter on hand, so I used Blue Bonnet 53% Vegetable Oil Butter. If I used light butter the actual calories would be:

Calories: 45
Fat: 1.5g
Carbs: 6.5g
Protein: 1.5g

Final Results: Yes, they are good but, a VERY BIG BUT... they are a hassle to make. Another thing to consider... they may be dangerous if left in the kitchen!

Taste = Two Thumbs Up
Time, Effort & Energy = One Thumb Down

What have you lost?

2010-02-11T15:06:00.001-06:00

Your weight loss =

1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg or a sack of sugar
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale's brain or 4 sacks of sugar
20 pounds = an automobile tire or a large sack of potatoes
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant's heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay or 200 sticks of butter
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant's penis
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World's Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she's 5'11")
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she's 5'4")
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

What have I lost you ask, well, I have lost:

~ The Average Amount of Pizza an American eats in one year (WOW) or
~ A Tire and A Human Brain or
~ 10 Dozen Large Eggs, A Chihuahua, A Rack of Baby Back Ribs and A Guinea Pig

Woo-Hoo! What have you lost?

HG Sloppy Joes 250 Calories (30 Fat Cal, 3.38g Fat)

2010-02-10T18:15:00.002-06:00

Delicious and Zesty concoction with a sauce that's finger lick'n good! Get your napkin ready folks and enjoy the ride!

Ingredients
1 Package Jennie-O Extra Lean Ground Turkey
1 can Tomato Sauce No Salt Added
1/2 cup Crushed Tomato (canned)
3 Tbsp Tomato Paste
1 Tsp McCormick Grill Mates Steak Rub (or dry seasoning steak blend)
1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
1 1/2 Tbsp Apriva/Kroger brand Splenda (or splenda)
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped onion
Dash of Salt
6 Sara Lee Heart Healthy Wheat Soft & Smooth Hamburger Buns

Directions

1.Spray a large pan with nonstick spray, and bring to medium-high heat. Add turkey to the pan. Spread the meat around in the pan to break it up a bit.

2.In a small dish, combine Splenda, salt and steak seasoning. Sprinkle this mixture over the meat, and continue to stir meat in the pan.

3.Add onions, peppers, and Worcestershire sauce to the pan. Stir, and then continue to cook for 5 minutes.

4.Add tomato sauce, crushed tomatoes and paste to the pan and stir well. Reduce heat to low, and cook the mixture for an additional 5 minutes.

5.Toast the buns, if desired. Put 1/6th of the mixture (or about 1/4 cup) on each bottom bun, and then finish with bun top!

Okay folks, get your taste buds ready... this one is a huge hit! I was a little reluctant but this was delicious! If your a fan of sloppy joes, this is a must! Again, my son helped in the kitchen. He had a blast.

I usually don't toast my buns, I would suggest toasting the buns for this sloppy joe because the bread got a little soggy while it was on my plate. Very messy but finger lick'n good! Enjoy!

Calories: 250 each, 30 Fat Calories
Fat: 3.38g
Carb: 29.31g
Prot: 26.88g

EXCUSES

2010-02-09T20:50:00.003-06:00

Are what got me to 330 Pounds

Are what got the inches around my abdomen to be taller than my height, for those trying to figure that one out: My height 5'3" which is 63 inches, my abdomen was 64 inches. YIKES!!!

Are what helped me to fit into a size 28 pant

Are what allowed me to wear a size 26/28 top

Helped my joints ache

Provided constant pain to my feet

Caused me to avoid all camera's and camcorders

Encouraged me to ignore mirrors at all cost

Created someone who didn't believe in herself

Brought out the very worst in me

Made it easy to ignore my needs

Festered and festered in each growing pound and inch

Allowed me to eat WHATEVER, WHENEVER

To lose control of my health

Put blinders on reality

Ignored my needs

Fogged my thoughts and feelings about myself

Robbed me of 10 years of my life

Gave me a reason to Give up

GOODBYE EXCUSES, THOSE DAYS ARE OVER, A NEW SHERIFF IS IN TOWN! Today, I wasn't feeling it, I didn't want to work out, I wasn't motivated to do a thing. I signed into Spark and there is was, Message Board: How do you get passed Excuses!

I quickly clicked on the link to take me to the thread, and I wrote:

Excuses led me to 330 pounds, its time to get up and do something different.

“Discipline is remembering what you want.”
(John Campbell)

After I wrote it, I read other member posts and was so glad that I still have the ability to get up and do something with myself. It helped me focus back on my mission of 2010 to overcome obesity and my addiction to food. So as I am here today, I am so glad that I did go to the gym, I hit the circuit for 45 minutes, I later did a 2 mile walk and I feel great.

Bye Bye Excuses, you are not good for me anymore!

Parmesan Herb Chicken 231 Calories (51 Fat Cal, 5.72g Fat)

2010-02-08T19:13:00.003-06:00

Perfect balance of flavor and crunch with every bite of this classic Italian Dish.

Ingredients
4 boneless skinless chicken breast
1 cup Private Selection Parmesan Herb Panko Crumbs
1/2 cup Fiber One Bran Cereal
1/2 tsp Reduced Fat Parmesan
1/4 cup Reduced Fat Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
1 Cup Crushed Tomatoes (canned)
1 tsp ground basil
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp ground oregano
2 large egg white

Directions

1.Heat oven to 375 Degrees. Spray baking sheet with non-stick spray, set to side.

2.Using a Blender or Food Processor, crumb 1/2 cup Fiber One Bran Cereal. Mix fiber one crumbs with 1 cup Private Selection Parmesan Herb Panko Crumbs. Add 1/2 tsp reduced fat Parmesan Cheese, mix well, set to side.

3.Mix two egg whites in large container. Dip Chicken breast in egg whites, shake chicken to remove excess egg, now dip in panko/fiber one crumb mixture, coat both sides of chicken. Place chicken on baking sheet. Repeat until all 4 pieces of chicken are on baking sheet. Spray chicken with non-stick spray. Bake chicken for 10 minutes, remove from oven, flip chicken over, spray with non-stick spray and bake an additional 12-16 minutes (until chicken cooked completely).

4.Meanwhile, take 1 cup crushed tomatoes, add 1 tsp basil, 1 tsp garlic, 1 tsp oregano and mix well. Heat in microwave for 3 minutes at medium heat.

5.After chicken cooked completely, remove from oven. Add two tbls of tomato sauce on each chicken breast. Measure 1/4 part skim mozzarella cheese and even spread on top of all chicken. Place back in oven until cheese melted. Remove from oven, now enjoy!

This is my version of the Hungry Girl recipe, mine has been altered. I never tried the HG version but I am sure it is great, I like to play around and put my own twist on things.

This was a hit at our house. My son helped make it and he really enjoyed it. He gave it a 7 out of 10 rating (he did the rate the chili cheese burger on Friday night a 10 out of 10, so go figure). The chicken was surprisingly juicy and tender, it had a nice crisp and the crushed tomatoes complemented it greatly.

Calories: 231, 51 Fat Cal
Fat: 5.72g
Carb: 19.63
Fiber: 4.9g
Protein: 28.14g

Expecting Too Much of Ourselves

2010-02-08T07:29:00.002-06:00

This morning I weighed in and felt a tinge of disappointment when I realized that I only lost 3 pounds last week. Hold up, was that three pounds? Yes, three glorious pounds that are gone, gone for good!

I told myself that it was good and it was only 7 pounds away from my 10 pound weigh loss goal for February! I did my best to tuck my tail between my legs and believe that 3 pounds was good (I lost 18 pounds last month which was an average of 4.5lbs a week).

I began to check emails and before you knew it, I was on Spark People and I found it, Do we expect too much of ourselves? I click on the link and there I am, a message board. I thought for a moment and began to think of one of my closes girlfriends. She lost 20 pounds last month (WAY TO GO CHICA) but for some reason, was not completely satisfied.

My response:
I believe we do, a friend of mine lost 20 pounds last month, which is incredible... she was disappointed. I had to reminder her that losing 5-12 pounds a week is not realistic unless your on the Biggest Loser and are working out 8 hours a day. Sometimes we put to much pressure based on someone elses accomplishments, be happy with your success and enjoy every moment of it. Don't rob yourself of pride, happiness or a simple treat (nice cup of hot tea, walk, bubble bath, new book) for doing your best and giving it your all!

Then it hit me, this is exactly what I am doing right now. This morning, I was not pleased with my 3 pound loss, I wondered what I should have done differently, did one of my new snacks have to much fat? Did I eat one to many bags of popcorn? Uh,oh... maybe I didn't work out as hard as I could have,oh wait, I think it is getting close to that time of month. Just one excuse after the next. I lost, not only did I lose, I took off 3 pounds, cooked dinner 6 out of 7 nights (one night we had subway - veggie delite, 230 calories) worked out at the gym 5 days, walked 5 days for a total of 6 miles. Come on, even if the scale didn't move... those are great accomplishments.

Today, I am taking my own advice. I will celebrate my success and not compare what I have done to anyone else. I will find happiness in my new lifestyle and enjoy my journey as it has been, I am doing great!

Super Bowl Sunday

2010-02-07T23:25:00.002-06:00

Why is it that we celebrate the Super Bowl with food & drinks galore? How did this become part of a tradition? Do other countries do this? I don't know, but it is an American Tradition. Something that will not go away.

This year, I went to a friends house to watch the Super Bowl and of course, there was lots and lots of food, great yummy food. Before arriving, all I could imagine was nachos, wings, cheese, crackers, chicken crisper's, bean dip, hot sauce, hot dogs, ribs, sodas, cookies, cakes and on and on. Oh boy, my mouth was watering. I decided my best defense would be prepared. I decided I would take a few things of my own that I knew I could eat. I also decided if I have a few bites of something, I would not beat myself up.

Sunday afternoon, I took a 2 mile walk and then came home and cooked some goodies. I made the Chicken Taquitos from last week (this time using extra thin tortillas reducing the calories) and baked veggies (zucchini and squash). I have never been a beer person but I picked up a six pack of Miller Chill (Light Beer with Lime) which was only 100 Calories.

At the party, they did have lots and lots of food. I wasn't actually that hungry, there was tons to eat but it didn't really do anything, I had no problem walking away from the kitchen without trying some of this, some of that, a little more of this and that... I was surprised, food was not the only thing on my mind.

Maybe it was the company, the game or a little of everything, but this year, the Superbowl didn't do me in and I am not ashamed of the plate of food I did eat.

For those interested, I drank 2 Miller Chills, not bad especially for a non-beer drinker. Okay... it was 1.5 beers, but that is a lot for me considering I have probably only drank 3 beers in my adult life... lol! Now, I did hear that Applebee's is serving a 100 calorie Margarita... sounds like Lady's Night will be coming soon!